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Carrion Luggage #1104529 added December 27, 2025 at 9:16am
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One Fine Day
This one's from Time, and I don't know how many ads, popups, warnings, or other crud you're going to get if you click on it.
It's funny. Honesty is touted as a virtue, and yet there are multiple situations, such as this one, where one is expected or even encouraged to lie out their ass, and that's considered a virtue, too.
Within six weeks in 2014, [Nora McInerny's] father passed away, her husband died of brain cancer, and she miscarried her second child.
You know how some people try to one-up you when something goes wrong? You're like "my dog died," and they have to be, "Well, both of my dogs died and my toddler got run over by a truck." I think this qualifies her for the World Championship of one-upsmanship. And, if she has any musical talent at all, the country music charts.
It makes sense, then, how much time she’s spent pondering what to say when someone asks you how you are, and the truth isn’t “good.”
I have two simple go-to responses, myself: "Horrible," and "could be worse." Because, as we have just seen, it could always be worse.
About a year ago, Jennifer C. Veilleux set a goal for herself: She would try never to answer “I’m fine” or “I’m good” if she wasn’t really feeling that way.
I'm also getting the impression that women are expected to lie if they're not doing "fine," more than men are. Just another double standard.
“We know what we’re supposed to say: ‘I’m fine, how are you?’ Yet that’s often not true,” says Veilleux, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville, who studies emotion.
Huh. Higher education in Arkansas. Who'd have guessed?
Research suggests that suppressing emotions is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and stress, as well as poor relationships.
The answer, of course, is to not have emotions. Or relationships.
First, gauge someone’s capacity for the truth
Are you seriously telling me to "read the room?" Get out of here.
Keep these handy responses close
Now I'm picturing some chick getting asked "How are you?" and then she holds up a finger, digs through her purse, pulls out a small pack of cards with canned responses, and draws one at random.
Even when you’re not, “fine, thanks” sometimes does the trick
Ooooh, way to negate the rest of the article.
No, seriously, though, I think the point is to be more honest with people you already know, not random minimum-wage workers who are asking as part of their script. You already know they're not fine, because they're minimum-wage workers having to follow a script, and probably listen to brain-rotting "music" all day. They're not your friend, coworker, casual acquaintance, or therapist. Telling them the truth fixes nothing, and only makes things worse. On the other hand, being too chipper can also make them feel rotten about their lot in life. So yeah, in that case, just go through the pro-forma motions, like when you end a letter with "Sincerely."
Remember: most people care
Snort.
Some people care. Some just pretend to care. Others take perverse pleasure in your misfortune, feeling superior when they find out your life is worse than theirs. Still others will engage in one-upsmanship, as above.
Anyway, yeah, I joke. If I'm being honest, sometimes I joke to cover up how I'm feeling. I keep imagining going to a shrink and having them, very seriously, talk to me about "defense mechanisms" and "letting yourself feel" and "being honest with people."
Not today, though. I'm actually doing just fine, thanks. |
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