I'm disappointed one of the answers wasn't "Nothing; it's the thought that counts." But as I've said, philosophers have no sense of humor. We have a different name for philosophers with a sense of humor: comedians.
But there was one answer that really got me thinking. I am sure it was meant as a joke, but you have to be careful joking with the philosophically minded. Because quite a few people said “purpose” or “meaning.”
Case in point. And yes, you do "have to be careful joking with the philosophically minded." Like little kids, they can be annoyingly literal. Source: me, who can be annoyingly literal.
In his book, Mortal Questions, [Thomas] Nagel has an entire essay devoted to the “absurd.” Absurdity — traditionally represented by Albert Camus — is the philosophical position that humans are caught in this dreadful existential disappointment: We are a meaning-seeking, meaning-needing species, and yet the Universe is meaningless. We’re wired to want a thing that the Universe cannot provide.
Which is not to say that this is right or wrong. Personally, I disagree with some of the premises there, but it's not about whether we agree or not.
Nagel, though, thinks that all this talk of “meaning” is a misguided fool’s errand. In his essay, Nagel argues that we can identify three different types of meaning-grasping angst in the philosophical literature, and all of them are logically flawed.
Kind of ironic, isn't it? To spend so much time arguing against something that, by your own definition, isn't meaningful? Sometimes I think the only true philosophers are the ones who don't find their meaning in publishing philosophical essays.
First, the Argument of Time
When we think “everything I’ve done will end in death” and “nothing will matter in a thousand years,” then it is enough to push you into an existential crisis.
Or, as I like to put it, "There's no such thing as a happy ending, only stories that end too early."
So, imagine that on Christmas Day, you open a box containing a magic amulet that gives you immortality... Is this any more meaningful a life than the one you have now?
I think it's already been pretty well established that death is part of what gives life what meaning it has.
Second, the Argument of Size
But I'm assured that size doesn't matter.
Now, imagine you open a present that contains an elixir that makes you the size of the Universe... Would you now have any more purpose to your existence?
Purpose? No. Something else to do? Sure.
Third, the Argument of Use
What is the point of anything at all? We waste our lives trudging to jobs we hate, to talk with people we don’t like, to live in a town we want to leave, and aspire to a future that was never what we wanted.
Need a blankie?
Nagel’s point to all of this is that when we talk about “meaning,” we often talk about it as a question without an answer.
And? Isn't that what Zen koans are, except the questions are at least more poetic in nature?
But while Nagel argues that Camus’s scorn and defiance are a little bit dramatic, he does agree that the best approach to “questions of meaning” is to live ironically.
Okay, I can get behind that.
We need to commit to life seriously while knowing that it has no “meaning” beyond what it is.
But I can't get behind that. At least, not for the standard definition of "seriously." I can fulfill my obligations as a human without being all serious about them. In fact, if it's not obvious, my personal philosophy is that everything is, or can be, funny, so a sense of humor is far more important to me than a sense of meaning.
As I like to say, if you want meaning, grab a dictionary.
