What do you call the condition where you pay any attention at all to someone who's only famous for being famous?
No one is excited to deal with social rejection, but people with a certain mental health condition may struggle with this more than others.
"Yes! I got rejected by my peers again! Whoohoo!"
It’s called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and Paris Hilton just highlighted her experience with it in a new interview.
So... wait.
You're telling me that people with rejection sensitivity dysphoria are sensitive to rejection?
Hilton says that people with rejection sensitivity dysphoria experience negative feelings “on such a deep level.”
And why are we listening to her opinion on a psychological subject?
Hilton said she wasn’t even aware that rejection sensitivity dysphoria was a thing before her diagnosis, but she’s learned that many people with ADHD feel the same way as she does when it comes to social rejection.
I'm not sure if I can explain any better how utterly stupid this idea is.
Not the aversion to rejection. I get that. I have it, which is why I almost never initiate conversations myself.
It's like... let's take one of my biggest fears, which is anything touching my eyeballs. I can just say "I have a fear of something (other than my eyelids) touching my eyeballs." Or, we can make up a psychological condition called "eyeball touch aversion," and proclaim that the reason I have a fear of anyone touching my eyeballs is because I have eyeball touch aversion. Suddenly, it doesn't seem like an irrational phobia so much as a medical condition. I could join internet support groups like "Don't touch my eyeballs!" and "Alternatives to contact lenses."
It's circular. It's tautological. Hell, it's even recursive.
What is it and how does it differ from a standard fear of rejection? Psychologists explain.
I'm slightly more willing to accept explanations from psychologists than from useless heiresses. Rejection sensitive dysphoria is not in the DSM-5, the handbook used by health care professionals to classify and diagnose mental health conditions...
I'm shocked. Shocked! I must have bullshitshockophilia.
“The term appears to have originated in popular discourse about ADHD but lacks a clear clinical definition, validated diagnostic criteria, or empirical research base in peer-reviewed medical literature,” Dr. Saltz says.
A rational article would have stopped there, because here's a rough (but accurate) summary of what has transpired within it thus far.
Celebrity: "I have a medical condition."
Medical professional: "No, you don't."
Reporter: "Well, let's hear both sides."
Social rejection can be upsetting to anyone, but people with rejection sensitive dysphoria experience it differently.
News flash: people experience things differently. We're not all alike. Who knew? Again, shocking.
The rejection sensitivity part refers to the tendency to “anxiously expect, readily perceive, and intensely respond to cues of rejection or criticism from others,” Dr. Saltz says. She notes that this can cause “significant distress through unpleasant bodily sensations, anxiety, and misery.”
And?
Look, I'm not trying to minimize the feelings here. As I said, they definitely apply to me. But I'm not trying to fit into a little box by proclaiming that my intense aversion to rejection is, or should be, a named psychological condition.
Ultimately, rejection sensitive dysphoria taps into a person’s core beliefs about themselves, making someone feel that they’re unloveable and unworthy, Dr. Gallagher says.
I'm also not really ragging on Hilton. It's not her I have a problem with, so much. It's the willingness of media to fawn all over her. Less so now than in the noughties, of course, but all that does is reinforce the idea that women are only valuable when they're still young, which of course is bullshit. And yes, I'm completely aware that by posting this entry, I'm adding, if only a little bit, to the hype.
In any case, the point is, some of us are unloveable and unworthy. This might come as a shock to a physically attractive and rich celebrity, but I made my peace with it long ago.
So the article goes on to list the "symptoms," which, as with most lists of symptoms, mostly just invite people to go "OMG I have that! I'm not weird; I'm diagnosed!"
Feeling easily embarrassed or self-conscious
Having trouble believing in themselves
Struggling to contain emotions when they feel rejected
Suddenly turning their feelings inward, which can mimic severe depression
Being a “people pleaser”
Avoiding starting projects, tasks, or goals where there’s a chance of failure
Compensating for fear of failure or rejection by striving for perfection
OMG I have that! I'm not weird; I'm diagnosed!
There is, of course, more at the article. And maybe you disagree with my point of view on this. That's okay. I promise not to take it as personal rejection. Or, I don't know; maybe I will. I can't help it, because obviously I have RSD.
