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About Tehuti
I am an amateur writer of novels, serials, and novellas. Most of my work is in the genres of fantasy, mythology, drama, occult, GLBT, and erotica.
As I'm not seeking publication, I offer my work online for free reading. I'm not seeking stylistic critique so much as feedback from people who just like reading what I write. I love hearing what people think of my characters, plots, themes, etc., so if you have any comments or advice on those, feel free to share. I'm not hugely popular and often go many months without hearing from readers so I enjoy all the comments I get!
My interests are Ojibwa mythology, Mackinac Island, Egyptian mythology, Jungian symbolism and dream interpretation, ritual crime, fantasy writing, and various other things you can find in my personal bio, available just to the right. Please click to learn more about me and what I'm looking for in terms of readers and potential friends.
Feel free to hit me up if you're interested in any of these things, and enjoy my writing!
Tar! :) |
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Untitled Tentative Blog-Type Thing Entry #695718, added on 05-09-10 @ 9:39 pm EDT
Entry Access Restriction: None.
Typed up earlier.
Oddly, my sudden interest in Gothic literature led me into an interest in early fantastic literature such as Arthur Machen and William Hope Hodgson, which led me right back to my old friend Lovecraft, and now I'm all interested in him again. I've already read just about all of his fiction (i. e., the fiction I'd be interested in reading) and own most of it, plus his collaborations and August Derleth's work which is credited as his, and Lovecraft is long dead, so it's not like he's putting out anything new. Still, every few years, it seems, I feel like rereading his stories; I just never tire of them. I've never been too interested in reading any of the derivative fiction based on his works (aside from Derleth's, which is okay but not as good as the original thing), but I'm currently reading a three-volume set of Machen's works, by Chaosium, the people who put out the "Call Of Cthulhu" games and books, and they list some of their other publications in the back material. Turns out they only have a few books still in print but I went looking anyway at Amazon and added them all to my wish list to work my way through eventually, with hope. The good thing with Lovecraft is so very many people, SCADS of people, have written scads of works based on his material. The bad thing with Lovecraft is so very many people, SCADS of people, have written scads of works based on his material. I added just the books put out by Chaosium--and this after buying a few more Del Rey editions I had previously overlooked since they're derivative and not Lovecraft's own work. There's still a slew of stuff out there. I've barely scratched the surface. Like I said, I prefer Lovecraft's work, but I find his ideas so interesting, maybe these other people have done something decent with it.
I have to admit I prefer derivative works written in Lovecraft's own style. Honestly, his style is incredibly purple and overwrought. But that's what makes it fun. I adore how he wrote a lot of stories like they WEREN'T stories--like they were factual accounts, with snippets of diaries and news articles and transcripts and all. That just makes it all so much creepier and realistic. A lot of people writing Lovecraftian fiction use his themes but write in a more fictional style and it just doesn't translate as well IMO. The authenticity isn't there. I think this is why I liked Machen's The Three Impostors, a "novel" which in the end really did not tie together that well nor make much sense. It was told as stories within stories, people recounting stories, snippets of stories here and there, told like people are relating facts. Making a lot of it seem more like a factual account than a novel. I did the same thing when I tried my hand at Lovecraft fanfiction--including diary transcripts and whatnot. I adore the feeling of "finding" some lost manuscript and taking a peek at it. Strangely, this is a big theme in Gothic fiction too (the "discovered manuscript"), so was perhaps one reason why I was drawn to it (but have lost a bit of interest since Lovecraft and Machen and whatnot have distracted me).
On looking up all these Lovecraft-inspired books I learned a bit more about his writing process and how very much writers borrowed from and collaborated with each other back then. Lovecraft, for example, took some ideas from Robert W. Chambers, who in turn had taken some ideas from Ambrose Bierce; then August Derleth took those ideas from Lovecraft (and even used Bierce's name in his work). Lovecraft wrote and dedicated a story to Robert Bloch, renaming him in the story "Robert Blake" (I was too dense to realize this when I read that particular story, despite it even being dedicated to Bloch), then Bloch wrote a story with a character based on Lovecraft. I never even knew that Lovecraft's character the Comte d'Erlette was just a pseudonym or fictional version of Derleth, but take a look at the name and you'll see it plain as day. (Some tiny part of my brain insists that I DID once notice the similarity, and wondered--since I had long ago realized that Derleth often based his own characters' names, e. g., Ward Phillips (sic?), on Lovecraft--but if I did, I forgot it.) In short, all these big tangled webs of writers interacting and writing back and forth and everything. A lot of things I thought were Lovecraft's, such as Tsathoggua and Hastur and De Vermis Mysteriis, were in fact created by his fellow writers. Everybody borrowed from everybody else and then gave back with ease. All this time I had considered Lovecraft to be relatively forgotten and unpopular, so I was rather surprised. I wish I could have that kind of relationship with other writers, but nobody's interested enough in my work to read an entire series, much less want to write anything based on it (the three people who did start fanfics of my work quickly lost interest in that and in me and forgot I exist, as always), so that will never happen. I rather envy Lovecraft even if he was purple and overwrought and aside from an admittedly strong cult following isn't regarded very highly today.
I'd love to do more fiction based on his work--the two stories I completed based on it ("The Prisoner Of The Glass" and "The Stone From The Sea," they're both onsite as far as I know) are probably the only serious attempt I've ever made at fanfiction, since for the most part I despise writing stuff based on others' work unless it's mythology--but am always paranoid of getting things wrong, even if I'm making it up. Despite having read his stories numerous times I just can't retain information properly...probably one reason why I can read his stories repeatedly without getting bored, my memory sucks so much. I would hate using Yog-Sothoth incorrectly for example and being called out on it by somebody far more rabid than I am. It once occurred to me to take notes, but that seems like too much work, I can't even keep notes on my own work straight (hence the current Ameni Chronicles debacle) and I haven't even been working on my own stories, so I guess the point is moot. Still, it would be great fun to try it again, even loosely. I started a third story more recently in which I combined Lovecraft's ideas with the native mythology of this area and that was quite interesting. (The uncompleted story, "From The Silver Car," is on my Google Site.) A diary-type story would be most fun.
The very way in which I became interested in Lovecraft was rather odd and synchronistic. I still recall it clearly. Years and years ago I read a review of a computer game in a magazine and it described a scenario involving an astronomer or some such who looked at an approaching comet or something and promptly went mad. Naturally, the reviewer didn't say WHY he went mad, and I was quite curious, wondering, "What was it that drove him mad?" But I didn't play many computer games and had no reason to believe I'd ever play that one, whose name I didn't even take note of, so it was a moot point.
Some time later I acquired the computer game Alone In The Dark and had quite an interesting and frustrating time playing it (I recall writing to the game company for a hint once for a particularly irksome part of the game); partway through game play I realized that this was in fact the very game I had seen reviewed. It was apparently written for people who already knew about Lovecraft's works so much of it, while fascinating, didn't make too much sense to me out of context, even though I ended up completing it (at the very end, I got out of the evil house, got into a cab, and the driver turned to me with a skull face and laughed evilly and that was the end, so I guess despite winning I probably died anyway!).
Later, in high school art class, students were allowed to paint various things on the bricks of the wall, and I came across the phrase "That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange eons even death may die," and, finding the student who had painted it, I exclaimed, "That was in this computer game I played!" I believe he gave me a very brief explanation of where the saying had come from and what it meant, though it still meant little to me. It didn't occur to me to look into it further.
Even still later, in college, while browsing the city library shelves, I came across a little book called The Lurker At The Threshold and, intrigued, checked it out and quickly devoured it. I remember sitting on the heater at home while it was cold out, just reading and reading. I didn't know at the time that this book was written primarily by Derleth and not Lovecraft, but it was written very much in Lovecraft's style, and I was hooked anyway.
Even later I bought a copy of that book, and some more books, and eventually read almost all of Lovecraft's fiction (the fiction that matters, at least). What is weird is that honestly, none of these events led directly to the next. The computer game review did not make me go out and buy the game. Playing the game did not make me check out Derleth's work from the library, and checking out the book did not immediately make me buy Lovecraft's works. Everything just seemed to happen on its own, one thing after another, building off of the last. Like perhaps some great cosmic force was influencing me, insidiously and unconsciously compelling me to follow this eldritch trail to its DREADFUL AND HIDEOUS SOURCE BEYOND TIME AND REASON!! Okay, kidding. When you read Lovecraft you have to write things like that sometimes. But the point is the same. It makes me think of what happened with the game Alone In The Dark, in fact. It was a computer game based on Lovecraft's works. Then they made a movie supposedly based on the computer game, though the only similarities were the title and the main character's name, Edward Carnby. Then they went and released ANOTHER computer game based on the movie Alone In The Dark which had nothing really to do with the ORIGINAL Alone In The Dark. I wonder how many people know about this connection? When I first heard of the movie I got excited thinking it was based on the game, then learned that it really wasn't, so my interest died there. (Though I did buy the soundtrack to the computer game based on the movie based on the computer game, because it had the Bulgarian Women's Choir (I think) and I liked them in Brother Bear, but it wasn't as good as I'd hoped. Good Lord this all is confusing.)
Ha, I read in the intro to one of the Chaosium books about how to title a Lovecraft-inspired book--first you start with a noun like "Horror," "Lurker," "Haunter," "Whisperer," "Color," "Shadow," "Dweller," or "Inhabitant," then you add an "At," "On," "Over," "Under," "Out Of," or "In," then a creepy or cosmic location such as "Red Hook," "Warrendown," "The Graveyard," "Time," "Space," "The Ages," "The Aeons," "Darkness," "The Dark," "The Threshold," "The Tomb," "The Lake," "Innsmouth" (my particular favorite, I just adore Innsmouth and the Deep Ones), or "The Gulf," and presto, you're a Mythos writer. And it is so true! Plus I've learned you must use words such as "cyclopean" and "eldritch" as much as possible, ha. 
I think all this worked its way into my brain as, even though I haven't had a Lovecraft dream yet (pity), a couple of nights ago, in my output log, where I should have written the time I had instead half-sleepingly written (and misspelled) "Dunwhich" (Dunwich). WTF was going through my mind on that bathroom trip? An iridescent congeries of globes? 
I wish I could find photographs of the Welsh landscape that Machen writes about so often with the limestone hills and formations. It sounds so beautiful. I think it must be based on scenery in reality, but I couldn't find an equivalent when I searched briefly online. His descriptions of settings are gorgeous; he really dwells on that limestone. It sounds like a karst landscape. The reality, if there is one, probably isn't as pretty as the mental image I've formed. I might borrow the image I've formed of this in my mind for the Underisland (and no, I'm not going into detail on what that is, you'll just have to start reading my stuff).
The frigging raccoons are starting up again, annoying pests, squabbling on the porch, showing up in the daytime (ugh), clearing out the bird feeders. A day or so ago I had to twice shoo off one who insisted on approaching the porch in broad daylight, and that freaked me out, he had no business being out in the daytime; then last night I huffed and yelled at TWO of them, one of whom insisted on scooping up another mouthful of bird seed before furtively following his companion off into the dark. They had somehow almost cleared out the tin plate I have set on the stool out there for the chickadees, without knocking it over. All this time I had thought squirrels responsible for the missing food. Then all night I dreamed I was chasing away raccoons. Frigging raccoons. It's too early in the year for this crap.
Once in a while I hear the flying squirrels chirping faintly in the dark, and the chipping sparrows have returned for the summer. They're so adorable with their little red caps. The sunflower seeds seem to give their tiny beaks trouble so I went looking for sparrow-friendly bird seed, but could find none; everything seems geared toward finches, or colorful songbirds, or chickadees and nuthatches, or squirrels. I seriously do not want a food geared toward finches, so plain old mixed food was the only thing I could find. It's been my experience that the only part of mixed food that ever gets eaten is the sunflower seeds, so that's why I switched to just getting sunflower seeds, but I bought two small cheap bags of mix anyway, telling myself I'll do it just for the summer, see if the sparrows like it. Just after I tossed some out and went back to look, I saw five or six sparrows littering the porch, munching away, so maybe they do like it, though I'm not sure if they were eating it or sunflower seeds; I hadn't thrown out very much, so felt kind of bad, but I already know they'll eat sunflower seeds if they must, so I guess they'll just have to make do. They sell shelled sunflower seeds, but they are incredibly expensive, and I know that they would just get eaten up in a heartbeat by the chickadees and squirrels, and that would kind of miss the point of making it easier on the poor sparrows. Yes, the chickadees are "my" birds, but they have beaks specialized to crack open sunflower seeds, so I really do not need to make that any easier for them. Why is there no sparrow-specific food? They may not be too colorful but they sing nicely.
The white-throated sparrow and song sparrow often sing incredibly loudly from the bush right near the window and I love their songs so much, I wish they'd all stick around, I adore the sparrows. It's the frigging finches that bug me. And the robins toss the dead leaves around like crazy seeking worms and make quite a mess on the sidewalk. Hard to believe one little bird can be so messy. At least they don't bother the feeders any.
Some days ago when it was warmer, while looking over the junk beside the garage I spotted what looked like a little worn-out bicycle tire tread lying in the leaves; puzzled, I followed it to its source to find a head with tiny glittering eyes sticking up out of the leaves where a little garter snake was sunning itself. Oddly my first instinct was to grab it up and wrap it around my fingers, but I refrained, and went and got the camera to take some pictures instead. It stood perfectly still until an ant crawled on it and made it twitch and slide further away. I spotted it or another snake the next day under one of the lilac bushes but it's quite cold now and even snowed yesterday so I imagine they're lying low. Dad said they caught a big snapping turtle out where he works. I can't imagine I'll ever spot one of those wandering around our property, I would probably freak out if I did.
I just saw in the latest issue of Traverse that the rail trail nearest our house has been renamed from the Gaylord To Mackinaw City Trail or whatever to the North Central Rail Trail or some such, too lazy to look it up. That's a surprise to me, the signs along it haven't been changed. The article says it's like over sixty miles long! If only I had more endurance to walk. I. e., a bigger frigging bladder. It's also supposed to be covered with crushed limestone. I imagine they've done that only in certain areas since it's not covered in my area, it's just a rutted dirt trail with some rocks. I have to wonder where the limestone came from. Not landmarks, I hope. I keep having thoughts of writing something up, putting it in a waterproof container, and hiding it somewhere along the trail to maybe be found or maybe not like I do on the island. I doubt it would ever be found, though I did cross another walker the last time I went along the trail, surprisingly enough; that was near the bridge and crossroad so perhaps that explains it. It's just not used that much except by snowmobilers, although horses must traverse it now and then since I occasionally see their hoofprints, but aside from this once I have never met anybody along my tiny stretch of it. It's very desolate out there, woods and hills and swampland; if not for the highway being within hearing distance, with the dim roar of cars almost constant, you'd think you're in the middle of nowhere.
I finally invested in a 4" memory foam topper for my bed since I liked the 1.5" one so much and they don't seem to sell the 8" ones anymore, and put it on the old spring mattress and the 1.5" one atop it, I didn't even bother trying to put the included cover on it since putting on the covers drives me screaming insane and I am not pleasant when I'm screaming insane and I really did not want to put myself in a foul mood the rest of the evening over a stupid mattress topper. I'm used to doing a little hop (not a jump, just a hop, I catch my weight with my arm) into my bed every time I return from the bathroom and there's always a little bit of bounce because of the underlying spring mattress, but now with the new memory foam topper, I hop into the bed and just land motionless and it's rather unsettling so that and the feeling of it will take some getting used to; it's much mooshier feeling than I'd expected. I slept last night, at least, so I guess that's what counts. Plus it has made my bed much taller (I keep hitting the side of it rather than landing in it when I hop, I imagine I'd be quite amusing to watch were I to try sliding over the hood of a car like they do in movies), so that's a rather weird feeling too, almost like I'm in a different (but equally messy) bedroom. Strange.
Apologies to anyone who feels I may be ignoring them, I'm honestly not.
I have to go and eat now and can think of little else to say, so tar.
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This page last updated 11/11/09. Still under construction so may change at any time.
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