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About This Author
My name is Joy, and I love to write.
Why poetry, here? Because poetry uplifts its writer, and if she is lucky enough, her readers, too. Around us, so many objects abound to write about. Once a poet starts with a smallest, most trivial object, he shall discover that his pen will spill out what is most delicate or most majestic hidden inside him. Since the classics sometimes dealt with lofty subjects with a lofty language, a person with poetry in his soul may incline to emulate that. That is understandable. Poetry does that to a person: it enlarges the soul and gives it wings. Yet, to really soar, a poet needs to take off from the ground.
 
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Everyday Canvas #885533 added June 24, 2016 at 11:11am
Restrictions: None
Good Friend or Partner?
Prompt: What do you think makes you a good friend, significant other or spouse? Are there specific tricks to having a discussion about issues without causing hard feelings like using I feel instead of you are? What works best for you?
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I love the sign that merchants used to hang on their shop windows, once upon a time: Caveat Emptor, meaning buyer beware.
If you made a friend or bonded with a significant other or a spouse whose characteristics, modus operandi, and behavior you can vouch for, the rest should be easy enough. This applies to me, too, and here is my Caveat Emptor: I am not perfect. With some things, I am not even lukewarm good; though, with most of the stuff in life, I manage all right. I can never claim I am a perfect friend or spouse, although I try.
For my own peace of mind, from the start, I am picky with people who are and will be close to me, and I believe in the saying, to have (or make someone into) a good friend, be a good friend. Once I am sure I want that relationship, I offer a good ear and a shoulder. I am not quick to jump to negative conclusions, either. If I do, I do it inside my head and investigate the situation further. Then, if I am certain something is amiss, I ask the other person nicely. I don’t go like, “I feel…” as the shrinks advise. I just say it straight. For example, “When such and such happened, what did you think? Did you think I were to blame?”
Most of the time, if there’s friction, I try to reduce it in some way. If the friction grows and I can’t handle it, I am out of that situation. Yes, I don’t hesitate to take the flight option when fight or flight is offered to me. 
Also, I never say, you are this or that. The minute one says “you are,” it means a blame is coming, unless the words “you are” are preceded by an if. “If you are mad at me about this and that…” On the other hand, I don’t hesitate to say “I am,” such as: I am sorry; I am hurt; I am angry; I am upset; I am not sure of this situation; I am not sure I acted the right way, etc.
Having written all that so far, I can’t claim I handle every single person effectively. There is someone who, luckily, lives too far away to annoy me on a daily basis. I avoid her like the plague because I just can’t handle her. There are and will be people like that in my life and in everyone’s life. I didn’t choose that person to be related to me. It so happened that she is. When I see that person, I let on very little to nothing about myself and I encourage her to talk about herself; therefore, I avoid causing her to concentrate on me so to find something she could hook her claws into. Plus, I am overly polite to her. I learned this being overly polite toward nasty people from watching a newscaster, Walter Cronkite. The more aggressive the person he would be talking to became, the politer Cronkite would address him. I think it works, at least some of the time. 
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