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Complex Numbers
Complex Numbers
A complex number is expressed in the standard form a + bi, where a and b are real numbers and i is defined by i^2 = -1 (that is, i is the square root of -1). For example, 3 + 2i is a complex number.
The bi term is often referred to as an imaginary number (though this may be misleading, as it is no more "imaginary" than the symbolic abstractions we know as the "real" numbers). Thus, every complex number has a real part, a, and an imaginary part, bi.
Complex numbers are often represented on a graph known as the "complex plane," where the horizontal axis represents the infinity of real numbers, and the vertical axis represents the infinity of imaginary numbers. Thus, each complex number has a unique representation on the complex plane: some closer to real; others, more imaginary. If a = b, the number is equal parts real and imaginary.
Very simple transformations applied to numbers in the complex plane can lead to fractal structures of enormous intricacy and astonishing beauty.
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Whilst out and about today, I happened to get hungry when I was near a sandwich shop I hadn't visited before, so I went in to check it out.
It's about 3 pm, so the place was, to quote Leonard Cohen, dead as Heaven on a Saturday night.
Took me a while to figure out what I wanted, but the tiny, cute, young woman behind the counter didn't seem to mind. It wasn't like there were customers behind me. Or anywhere in the deli, for that matter. I should have taken this as a sign, but I just figured it's mid-afternoon when normal people have already eaten lunch and aren't yet ready for dinner. (Me? I was ordering breakfast.)
So I settle on a roast beef croissant sammich, Doritos and a soda. Or "pop" if you're from the North or "Coke" if you're from the South. Anyway, she puts in my order and says, "Can I get your phone number?"
I blink.
"No," was my automatic response.
She laughs. I got the idea a lot of people refuse. I mean, it's a fucking sandwich shop. What are they going to do, call you and tell you if they discover botulism or salmonella? Hey, guess what, by the time you call me, I'll know.
The sammich, by the way, was soggy; the croissant was rubbery like it'd been microwaved; the Doritos were stale; and the drink was watered-down.
But of course, after I placed my order, I thought of several better things I should have said to the "Can I get your phone number" question:
1. "You're too young for me."
2. "You're too old for me."
3. "Can I get yours?"
4. "Can I get your clothes off?"
That's the advantage of writing, you know. You can take your time to come up with a sufficiently witty, snarky and/or inappropriate response to idiotic questions. In person, what do I do? Freeze up and say, "No."
Anyway, feel free to comment and tell me what I should have said. |
© Copyright 2025 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. Robert Waltz has granted InkSpot.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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