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About This Author
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La Bene Vita
I am a professional musician  , worship leader , small business owner , songwriter , aspiring author and freelance nonfiction writer with a chemical engineering degree .
But that's just my resume.
My profile of qualifications is only one of the ways in which I am unique. Here I chronicle my personal and professional goals and my efforts to achieve them. Occasionally I fail. Mostly, I take daily baby steps toward all my long-term goals. Much like the stories I pen, the songs I compose, and the businesses I run, I am always a work in progress.
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My friend is getting married this fall. I asked her to sing in my praise choir this past Easter, along with a host of other singers, and she agreed to do it. At some point, I told the whole group how happy I was that they all agreed to come together and lead worship for Easter. My friend announced something like, "I'm glad you think so, because I was going to ask you a favor in return." She said she hoped I would sing at her wedding.
Now, I normally charge $200 to sing at weddings. She's a friend, but not family or even a close friend. I'm thinking to myself, I would normally charge her. Is she hoping I'll do it for free? But at this point, I'm sort of bound, just because of the way she phrased it, and because she really did do me a favor (and though I see it more as serving the congregation and God, not me personally, I figure maybe my own service to the congregation and God is to return the favor and sing at this wedding.)
So she followed up this month to firm up the dates. Yesterday's emails went like this:
Friend: Are you still available? I need to let the DJ know if he's doing the wedding too or just reception.
Me (after confirming the date): I can do it. Just let me know what you're looking for.
Friend (after listing desired songs): I will pay whatever you normally charge...of course.
Me: That's no problem. I normally charge $200. Let me know if that's okay.
Friend: Absolutely!
* insert back-and-forth with song choices, logistics, wedding and rehearsal time discussion*
Then, this morning, 5AM:
Friend: I looked over our wedding budget last night. After paying a DJ $600...we can't really afford another $200 for music. :( thanks though.
Gah. So, do I offer her a discounted price? Offer to do it free? Was she hoping I would do it free in the first place? Why would she say she would pay whatever I normally charge and then decide she can't afford it. She could be one of those people who is legitimately really bad at budgeting, and maybe someone pointed out how that just wasn't going to work. Maybe she never really planned to spend the extra, but wanted to look responsible by offering to pay, all the while hoping I would offer to do it otherwise. Or maybe she just got the quote from the DJ and was shocked at how high it was. At this point, the easy out is to tell her okay and leave it at that. But I'm not sure if she has some expectation or is hoping for something more. I don't want to let her down, and I don't want a member of my church harboring negativity toward me. On the other hand, I don't want to set a precedent that I'll do all kinds of free stuff if you volunteer under me. I could be indebting my time for life, and I just don't have that much of it to give. I make next to no money, and although it obviously doesn't cost me anything to sing at an event, it's the one thing that earns me a decent income. I do have bills to pay.
So what would you do?? |
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Thanks for sharing!
Even better if she can whistle to the tune of Mozart or something. 
Comment • View 2 comments 
, also known as Michelle Tuesday, is a musician, educator and writer hailing from Columbus, Ohio.![Merit Badge in Music
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To a dear friend whose talent for writing music is sensational. May you have a fabulous New Year, (((Brandi)))!!! *^*Kiss*^*
Big hugs,
Sherri *^*Heart*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Music-1050.gif)
![Merit Badge in Organization
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I don't know how you do it, but I assume there's magic involved *^*Bigsmile*^* I have really enjoyed this month of planning and preparation for NaNoWriMo and I love how organized it all is. Thank you for hosting a great challenge and for your dedication to helping so many of us prepare with confidence and trepidation for National Novel Writing Month (known to sane folks as 'November' *^*Laugh*^*) at your [Link To Item #1474311]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Organization-1150.gif)
![Merit Badge in Leadership
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For your hard work, commitment, talent and innovation in running the October NaNoWriMo Preparation each year, which helps many of us get our scattered thoughts together for November's novel-writing. And also because this badge has ducks on it.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Leadership.gif)
