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About This Author
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La Bene Vita
I am a professional musician  , worship leader , small business owner , songwriter , aspiring author and freelance nonfiction writer with a chemical engineering degree .
But that's just my resume.
My profile of qualifications is only one of the ways in which I am unique. Here I chronicle my personal and professional goals and my efforts to achieve them. Occasionally I fail. Mostly, I take daily baby steps toward all my long-term goals. Much like the stories I pen, the songs I compose, and the businesses I run, I am always a work in progress.
September 22, 2014 at 9:01am September 22, 2014 at 9:01am
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My mother-in-law lives with us. Last summer, we sold her house and ours and bought a larger house. We renovated the basement so she could have a private apartment, but we could still watch over her. She'd lived in her former home for forty years and raised her children there, so moving was a big project involving sorting, organizing and packing and many tearful trips to Goodwill.
Keith made the decision to consolidate our households when his mother began to exhibit signs of severe memory loss. She can tell me stories about her youth like nobody's business, but she doesn't remember that she told me the same story a month ago, or an hour ago. Every time Keith goes on a business trip, she thinks he's in Italy (this last trip was to St. Louis.) All her plans are at noon or sometime other than when they actually are, so she sits by the front door waiting to be picked up, thinking she's been forgotten. And she keeps saying she just needs to get in her car and drive herself to church or the grocery store or wherever, but even though these destinations are a straight shot from our home, she's gotten hopelessly lost the last couple times she's ventured out on her own. She has a cell phone, but naturally she doesn't remember to bring it.
Ever since she moved in with us, I've been taking my mother-in-law to church. I lead worship, and on a rare occasion, I have to be early or stay late, so I either tell her a different time to be ready that morning, or I make arrangements for Keith to drive her, or for a congregation member who lives near us to take her home early. I think a routine would be better for her, but it's not something I can control. Leading worship is my job.
Yesterday, we had to leave the house at 8:30 am. She confirmed with me on Saturday night: "We're leaving at 8:30, right?"
At 8:32 yesterday morning, we had not heard a peep from the basement. On any normal Sunday, she would have already been upstairs to feed and water the cats and set her purse and Bible on the counter.
I opened the basement door and called down to her, asking if she was ready to go.
She called up, "I can't find anything to wear."
My mother-in-law dresses to the nines with perfect hair and makeup to ride along taking Abby to cheerleading. She is always immaculate and always - ALWAYS - ready on time. Finding something to wear is like a profession for her.
After a stunned pause, I called, "Do we need to take you shopping?" Maybe she's gained weight. We've all had those mornings.
She replied, "I'm just so aggravated."
Another beat later, I come up with the solution.
"I have to go, but I'll wake Keith up and ask him to bring you at 9:15." That gives her an extra 45 minutes to get ready.
She agreed, so I woke Keith and left.
After worship, I got hit with the usual barrage of people needing to speak with me for various reasons. I apologize to my MIL almost every week for keeping her waiting, and every week she tells me not to worry, the couch by the door is very comfortable.
Yesterday, she sought me out while I was asking a friend to help me load up the drum set in my Jeep, and she was distraught. She'd been waiting outside for Keith to pick her up, and he was a no-show. I realized the problem immediately: She assumed that since he brought her, he would also be picking her up. That implied she'd forgotten the reason Keith drove her.
At that moment, my friend got pulled away into another conversation, so I hustled her out as quickly as possible, since she was clearly in a bad mood. I tried to gently remind her: "Why would Keith need to pick you up? I didn't have anything unusual scheduled today. Did you end up finding something to wear?"
And she snapped at me, "Oh, I always find something to wear. I'm always ready and waiting for you people."
*blink*
It is SO HARD to take comments like that in stride. I have to bite my tongue, count to ten in my head, and take a deep breath before I reply.
"Don't you remember? When I asked if you were ready at 8:30, you said you couldn't find something to wear. That was why Keith drove you today."
She didn't say anything, and I have no idea if she remembered, or if she felt bad, or if she was mad, or what, because she rarely says what's on her mind. I got her in the car and asked her to give me a minute to tell my friend we were leaving and would load up the drums another day. But then she changed moods abruptly, saying there was no need to rush, that I could finish what I was doing.
All I could think was that loading up the drums would take at least ten minutes, and that's enough time for her to forget why she's waiting for me, to forget that she'd insisted on it.
Sometimes it goes beyond unjustified accusations, and I get treated with mistrust. She looks at me with suspicion when some piece of mail or personal object or large stack of cash she withdrew vanishes (it turns out she hid the money under a lamp.) I used to pay her bills because she paid her mortgage twice in the same month but repeatedly failed to pay other bills, and I'm better at money management than her two children. She was aware that I took over and approved it, but sometimes she would forget and be accusatory about the status of her bank account and the fact that I had access to it.
I have my faults, but dishonesty is not one of them. If anything, brutally unfailing honesty is sometimes on the "weaknesses" list. It hurts my feelings to be accused unjustly and mistrusted, especially when I'm voluntarily taking on a time-consuming task like managing someone else's budget and bills and making all the payments on time. I was hoping for gratitude, not mistrust.
Luckily, cohabitation means she doesn't have bills anymore.
I agreed to cohabitate with my mother-in-law because I understand that she needs looking after, and since Keith worries about her, so do I. But she is strong-willed and difficult, and we're talking about one of the nicest people you will ever meet. I can't imagine doing this with a crabby person. And I can't imagine being in her shoes.
To lose my independence in old age is now one of my greatest fears. |
September 5, 2014 at 11:28am September 5, 2014 at 11:28am
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If you didn't read yesterday's novel, here's the quick summary: We signed a contract with Venue to run a commercial in their local movie theatre. They secured a third party advertising agency ("Production") to make the ad, but we signed a contract directly with Production.
Production supplied the first revision. Venue suggested changes to the informational "slide" containing contact information about our business. We said we agreed with the suggestions, but we made arrangements for our internal creative guy, Zach, to do the slide himself. Production agreed.
Zach's slide didn't exactly match Venue's suggestions. Instead of asking us about it, Production took it upon herself to CHANGE Zach's slide so that it would match Venue's suggestions.
We were only supposed to get one revision, according to our agreement.
Yesterday, I closed my blog post with: "......now, who wants to bet that we get charged for a second revision?"
7:49 AM today:
Michelle,
Good Morning!
Ad has been handed off to Venue exactly as it was sent!
This constitutes an additional change.
What was sent in Zach’s piece DOES NOT INCLUDE Venue's comments you agreed with.
We took out the changes you communicated you wanted on August 28th at 9:22 AM
Production also included a quote from my 8/28 9:22 email: "We have all reviewed the video. We agree with Venue's suggestions, and we have no additional requests. Since we only get one edit request, can we see the "slide" before you incorporate it into the video, or just let Zach do it so we know we'll be happy with it on the first edit?"
Chris replied with a quote from Production's 8/28 reply to the 9:22 email: "Hello!
For the sake of time, let's go with what Zach creates. We can add that into your spot right away.
This will get you into the theater sooner."
Production replied:
"Chris,
Not certain why this sent but at this stage, please ensure any direction comes from Michelle to avoid any confusion!
Thanks Kindly!"
...um, yeah. So after spraying blood out of the top of my head in a laser-fine, high-pressure spray that drilled a tiny hole in my ceiling, I responded with this:
"I am offended by this. If you would please refer to our contract with you, it was in fact Chris Fredenburg who read and signed the agreement with you, not me. She, Zach Garster, and Angela Heck Mueller have complete and total authority to speak on behalf of MTMS." |
September 4, 2014 at 1:19pm September 4, 2014 at 1:19pm
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I don't know if talking about it will make me feel better or worse. I'll leave the names of the companies out of the story until after resolution, at which point I plant to plaster the name of one of the companies across as many venues as I can possibly find.
We (MTMS ) bought an advertisement. We've purchased print ads and Google ads, but this was an actual video commercial, slated to run for a number of months at a local movie theatre. It seemed like a good venue, since the people who go to movies are families with children, and teenagers. But the ad is very expensive, and we're inexperienced at this sort of ad.
Definitions:
"Production" makes the commercial.
"Venue" runs the commercial.
Zach is my marketing guy. He makes things look good.*
Chris is my finance manager. She pays the bills.*
Angela an MTMS site manager. She is my second-in-command.
*Zach and Chris do much more than this, but these are the functions critical to the story.
Summary:
Venue stopped into MTMS one day to drop off information and spoke with Chris. Venue is giving us a lot of perks to try this out, because they want to prove how much business it will give us. We have had minor problems with Venue, but overall, we like them. Production is a royal pain in the ass.
First Quote Iteration
Venue sends a quote to Chris: $3000 to run the ad for a period of time, plus $450 to make the commercial. We evaluate other options for making the video but cannot beat the price of $450. We agree to move forward.
Second Quote Iteration
Venue informs us that we misunderstood. $450 is the price to upload a commercial that we provide. If we want them to provide the commercial, the cost will be $800. Zach asks for confirmation that the total cost out of our pocket will be $3800, and that there will be no additional cost to upload the video. Venue confirms. Chris signs a contract and makes a $600 down payment to Venue.
Third Quote Iteration
Production is a third-party company secured by Venue, but we must sign a contract directly with Production. The contract arrives: $800 plus a $200 travel fee. Zach forwards contract to Venue with reminder that we confirmed a total cost of $3800. He follows up several times but receives no response for several weeks.
Michelle Gets Involved
I sent an email to venue asking why we have not gotten a response. Venue sends a long, very nice apology and explains she has been trying to reason with Production to agree to waive the travel fee, but Venue is inflexible. Venue offers an extra free month of run time. We accept, and Chris signs the contract with Production.
It's All About the Money
Production contract includes a payment schedule: a portion up front, a portion on the day of filming, and a portion upon delivery. Production asks for the first payment, and Chris asks for an invoice. After some back-and-forth and confusion, Production sends an invoice via PayPal ("request for payment") for the wrong amount, which Chris pays. Chris notifies Production that she will be out of the office, and that nobody at the filming site will have the means to make a payment on the day of filming. She requests that the invoice for the filming day be submitted early. No invoice is received on the requested date. Several invoice-related emails pass back and forth between Production and Chris in which Production seems to miss many requests and is generally lacking in attention to detail.
Ad Copy
Production writes the worst ad copy I have ever seen ("Invalid Item" ). Zach, Chris and Angela agree. We even question whether English is this person's first language and send an email to Venue asking for the qualifications of the advertising company. Venue does not reply. Meanwhile, I poll my Writing.com friends to help with a rewrite, and we submit something much better to Production. Production agrees to use our copy.
Filming:
On the day of filming, Production arrives and spends several hours filming. She seems extremely friendly, and Angela and I feel bad that we questioned her qualifications. She is very efficient and flexible about the order of activities, and her cameraman seems to be very good at getting great shots. This is the company's one redeeming quality, and it's evidenced in the shots they ended up using in our final commercial.
However, some emails and payment information went back and forth between Production and Chris. I either was not copied on the emails or did not bother to read them on the basis that Chris is highly competent and doesn't need me rubbernecking her.
First Draft:
Production submits the first draft. The commercial consists of our ad copy spoken by one of our teachers, while scenes of teachers instructing our music students flash across the screen. The shots are genius, always showing the kids having fun and the teacher being very encouraging. Near the end, a "slide" (like a Power Point slide, just a graphic with information on it) flashes on the screen. The scene closes with a group of children and staff shouting our tagline, "You can't stop the music!"
Venue replies before we do and suggests that the slide is too busy. She suggests limiting the information to our two locations "Polaris Campus" and "Gahanna Campus", our web address, and social media logos. She also suggests changing the background from white to the tan color we use in our marketing. Venue reminds us that we only get one free revision.
Angela replies internally and says the slide is too boring. I no longer have access to it, but it was a white background with our logo across the top, and words in black listing our physical addresses, web address, and possibly some other information. Angela thinks Zach can make it much more attractive.
I reply to Production: "...we have all reviewed the video. We agree with Venue's suggestions, and we have no additional requests. Since we only get one edit request, can we see the "slide" before you incorporate it into the video, or just let Zach do it so we know we'll be happy with it on the first edit?" (emphasis added)
Production responds "...Please send Zach's creative content / image, and we will incorporate it right away."
Zach sends this:
** Image ID #2007844 Unavailable **
Second Draft:
Production sends second draft. Like the first, it is submitted in the form of a YouTube link, posted in Production's YouTube account. I reply and say, "...we would like a copy of the actual video ad file. How do we receive that?" Production replies that they will send a CD and an electronic file.
I did not approve the revision, and in fact, did not even review it.
Production also sends an invoice. Chris asks if she should pay it. I reply that we have not received the final product, so hold off.
Deadlines:
Wednesday: I was at a funeral all morning.
At 2:30pm, I saw an urgent email from Venue stating they needed our final ad by noon or we would miss our deadline, and would I please follow up with Production. I apologized for the delay and explained I had been at a funeral and suggested for future reference to contact my staff for immediate replies.
At this point, I realized that I became the primary point of contact when I sent an email to Venue about their three-week delay in replying to Zach.
In the reply, I also copied Production (in addition to my staff) and asked if there was a reason for the delay. Production explained they were waiting for payment, and "The ball is in your court."
I replied: "Nobody made me aware that we would miss our deadline if you didn't receive payment yesterday. I'm very disappointed in this news."
Venue agreed to extend the deadline until the end of the day.
Production asked if there was any reason I could not make payment by the end of the day.
Disclaimers
Because my next response was the crux of the ensuing problem, I should explain that I never saw the contract, because Chris reviewed and signed the contract.
Also, Chris requested that Production send all invoices and documentation of completion to her, and yet, once I got involved, Venue and Production kept sending things directly to me. And remember, our Production lady is a bit lacking in attention to detail.
Also remember, I had spent the morning at a funeral and arrived home to an email that indicated I'd already missed a deadline. At this point, I was headed out to work, and it was 3pm. One presumes that "end of day" is roughly 5pm, and I would be on the road for at least a half an hour. And, in breaking news, my Gahanna receptionist had just called out sick. I was supposed to teach in Polaris, so we were scrambling to figure out what to do about coverage.
I call that "frazzled."
My reply: "No, I can probably make it happen, but considering it's the beginning of the month and my staff all have high priorities on the 1st and 2nd day of the month, it's definitely not convenient. I think this is a very unusual business practice. Most of our vendors give us 30 days on invoices. We only just received the invoice yesterday. To require payment the same day as an invoice is issued is unheard of."
After sending the reply, I called Chris and told her to pay the invoice. We chatted briefly about our frustrations with Production.
The Nastygram:
At this point, if you're still with me, you might be interested in the whole reply by Production. I have included it below. Remember that I am her customer. If any of my staff treated a customer this way, with screamy all-caps and all, they would be fired.
I also can't stand all the "I pray" remarks in the middle of an obviously angry email. It's insincere and gives the church a bad name.
Nastygram ▼
I pray all is well. If you have reviewed your contract electronically and in PayPal, the terms are clearly outlined.
You can google or search standard business practices in this industry, and yes we require payment at various stages.
Furthermore, I am very taken by your misunderstanding due to the delay at the previous stage of $200.
In addition, Venue and I both clearly made you aware of times and the impact of delaying could have.
I pride myself on being VERY professional, and understanding.
We DO NOT operate on a NET any terms, and that is what we all have agreed to in this matter."
My business constituents all carry the same terms.
Now perhaps my expectations that you understood what you signed off on were that you were clear.
In over 20 years, I have not had anyone misunderstand and blame it on “UNSUSAL” business practices.
I pray that you take a closer look, as that’s why we do agreements.
Sometimes people may forget what they sign, and that’s understandable.
This is simply not a personal, but business matter.
The value you are getting carry’s a higher cost than what you have agreed to pay.
In an effort to further help you understand, I hope you receive this in a sincere fashion.
I take my work serious, and don’t pull any unknowns on anyone.
In closing, you delayed in each payment stage as well, and there seems to be a pattern here.
All clients which we have delivered on for Venue carry the same terms and have no problems paying.
Understand, the ball is in your court!
Very Sincere Regards,
Production
Luckily, I was busy with the reception problem and didn't see the reply until later. Meanwhile, Chris had read and replied to the email, and warned me that it would make me angry.
Reply from Chris ▼
As a reminder, I sent the email below requesting the payment invoices be sent to me so they could be paid in a timely manner. I told you I needed to pay the $200.00 invoice early because no one at the shoot on Thursday would be able to make the payment for you..."} You did not allow me to do that so you didn't get payment until I was back in the office. Sorry if that was inconvenient but if you had responded to my request you would have been paid 24 hours early.
The agreement that I signed said: 50% Due at Delivery $ 400.00. I was planning to pay when the ad was delivered. As far as I know the ad has not been delivered. Again, I'm sorry if there is some confusion over this but I was expecting an email or some type of acknowledgment that the ad was indeed finished and delivered. I have completed the PayPal transaction to make payment I hope we get our ad delivered in a timely manner.
In Gahanna, I update Zach and Angela. They state that they never saw the revised video, and I realize that I never reviewed it, either. So we watch it together.
OMFG, WOMAN!?
Right in the middle of the ad, we see this lovely slide:
** Image ID #2007845 Unavailable **
Are We Done Yet?
I notify Production that she used the wrong slide and referred to the email where she agreed to use Zach's slide. She referred to Venue's suggestions. This person is quite possibly the worst communicator I have ever encountered:
Michelle: "...we just realized that you didn't add the slide that Zach emailed you. We need that corrected. We made it perfectly clear that we wanted the slide that Zach sent you in the video."
Production: "Per the feedback and instructions Venue provided combined with Zach’s image sent below, What part of the instructions did not occur? We used the image Zach sent as shown below, and incorporated the color change. Which do you prefer now? We got instruction to change color in background to your color in logo. In either case, what do you want. Please send this right away!" (bold/font size are hers, not mine)
M: "Zach made the slide, and we wanted you to use it exactly the way Zach made it. Please correct this."
P: "Will do! Please confirm you do NOT want the changes you stated you agreed to from Venue on 8/28."
M: "We don't want any changes to Zach's slide, none whatsoever. We wanted it exactly as he sent it to you."
P: "Thanks! Updating!"
......now, who wants to bet that we get charged for a second revision?
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Thanks for sharing!
Even better if she can whistle to the tune of Mozart or something. 
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, also known as Michelle Tuesday, is a musician, educator and writer hailing from Columbus, Ohio.![Merit Badge in Music
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To a dear friend whose talent for writing music is sensational. May you have a fabulous New Year, (((Brandi)))!!! *^*Kiss*^*
Big hugs,
Sherri *^*Heart*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Music-1050.gif)
![Merit Badge in Organization
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I don't know how you do it, but I assume there's magic involved *^*Bigsmile*^* I have really enjoyed this month of planning and preparation for NaNoWriMo and I love how organized it all is. Thank you for hosting a great challenge and for your dedication to helping so many of us prepare with confidence and trepidation for National Novel Writing Month (known to sane folks as 'November' *^*Laugh*^*) at your [Link To Item #1474311]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Organization-1150.gif)
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For your hard work, commitment, talent and innovation in running the October NaNoWriMo Preparation each year, which helps many of us get our scattered thoughts together for November's novel-writing. And also because this badge has ducks on it.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Leadership.gif)
