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About This Author
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La Bene Vita
I am a professional musician  , worship leader , small business owner , songwriter , aspiring author and freelance nonfiction writer with a chemical engineering degree .
But that's just my resume.
My profile of qualifications is only one of the ways in which I am unique. Here I chronicle my personal and professional goals and my efforts to achieve them. Occasionally I fail. Mostly, I take daily baby steps toward all my long-term goals. Much like the stories I pen, the songs I compose, and the businesses I run, I am always a work in progress.
September 30, 2015 at 7:05am September 30, 2015 at 7:05am
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I create these giant projects for myself - you know, like Prep and NaNo - to avoid "real" work (which, for me, is essentially other giant projects of which I've grown tired.) I shouldn't NaNo, or Prep, or I Write, or perhaps even run the Prep, but I shall, because "sorry, I can't attend that staff meeting because I have to write" just sounds like such a fabulously legit excuse. Who's gonna argue with that? "I have to go binge watch Supernatural" or "I have to spend about twelve hours checking out the new Halo game" make people roll their eyes, but "I have to write" makes people gape in awe.
At least, I think that's awe in their eyes. ?
Food Log: 9/29/15
Krispy Kreme donuts. Two of them.
I ate other food, but it all pales in comparison. I have an excuse, though: I had a day:
 Generally busy day already with back-to-back appointments
Two employee resignations
----- both mostly welcome but I still have to find time to replace them
----- one gave zero notice due to "powerful connections" he needs to pursue immediately
----- "powerful connections" offered to sit down and give my advice about running my business
Two barely-operational toilets in Gahanna
I yelled at my MIL because she was yelling at my husband to "do something" about the fact that it was raining outside and my cats were getting wet in their gazebo
I felt sick from overeating.
About the cats: They've been outdoor cats since about 2003. They each have their own dog house, which in the past has been outfitted with a heating pad, piles of blankets, and insulation (just layers of fabric) applied to the interior ceiling. Since my husband, mother-in-law, and I moved into a house together, they now have their very own gazebo, furnished with a comfy wicker patio set that looks like living room furniture: love seat, two armchairs, and a coffee table. PLUS the dog houses. And MIL nags, nags, nags, nags every damn day that the roof in the gazebo leaks, it's wet in there, and Keith needs to fix the roof so those poor (outdoor, remember) cats can stay dry!! When she complains about it in front of me, she's cautious and mostly polite, but when she doesn't know I'm there (so I discovered yesterday from the privacy of the foyer powder room), she literally yells at him and will not back down. I was so pissed. They're not even her cats. And she just doesn't have anything better to do. So I flushed (ahem, I'm in here, MIL!), stepped out of the restroom, and unloaded my day on her. Not literally - good heavens, we don't tell her things because, remember, she has nothing better to do, so every little thing becomes the biggest drama. I didn't tell her about my day. I just shot her down about the stupid cat situation, venting all of my built-up frustration in this one dialog. I probably hurt her feelings.
Go, me.
So, yeah. That was my day yesterday, and I ate two Krispy Kreme donuts. I felt better after the donuts. The overeating happened at dinner, when my unemployed and very sweet husband made us salads with wayyyy too much grilled chicken and egg, and I ate the whole thing (after my 2-donut afternoon snack.)
It was an uncomfortable night... we both had too much egg on our salads.
But on the bright side:
PREP STARTS AT MIDNIGHT!
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September 29, 2015 at 6:49am September 29, 2015 at 6:49am
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I don't want to talk about it. I had birthday cake (after I'd already had birthday key lime pie the day before) and tortilla chips at the Mexican restaurant (decidedly fewer than usual, but more than the zero I was supposed to be allowed.)
I decided that I'm going to continue restricting my diet through October, but I'm going to quit with the PB&J's or even the plain PB. I'm still addicted to sugar, people. Maybe I should even try half-n-half in my coffee instead of sweet creamer. It's sugar free, but sweetened with an artificial sweetener. I've heard that artificial sweeteners continue to trigger sweet cravings.
You guys, don't let me neglect work and church in the quest for Prep and NaNo... I fear it's happening already... |
September 28, 2015 at 7:52am September 28, 2015 at 7:52am
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Today is my mother-in-law's 77th birthday. We took her out to dinner yesterday...
Food Log: 9/27/15
- Coffee
- Peanut butter
- Pumpkin roll *
- Pizza
- Nuts (variety, raw)
- Rosemary cabernet filet, broccoli, bacon mac & cheese
- Key Lime Pie **
*Yes, a slice of pumpkin roll clearly does not comply with my rules. But I was STARVING. I forgot to eat breakfast, didn't bring my purse with its supply of protein bars and nuts, and I knew I would be grumpy at church if I didn't eat something. So I justified it by stating it did meet my rules: it provided nutrition because it was food and I was hungry. An interesting take-away: it didn't satisfy me at all, and I even found myself hungrier after eating it. I just wanted protein. I call that progress. 
** This one is legit! I established an exception to my food restriction: I'm allowed to eat birthday cake. This wasn't birthday cake but Longhorn was Roberta's birthday choice, and we had dessert. I split a slice of pie with the hubby.
It counts.
But I think I'm going to continue the restrictions to 30 days instead of 21. And then I'll implement new a new rule: no PB&J! I wasn't sickened by the overly sweet dessert, which means I haven't broken the addiction yet. I'm obviously cheating. 
Cheers,
Michelle
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September 27, 2015 at 1:36pm September 27, 2015 at 1:36pm
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I finished binge watching Buffy, Angel, and Bones, and I'm ready for Prep and NaNo... except that I haven't picked my project yet.
Food Log: 9/26/15
- Coffee
- Peanut butter
- Banana
- ZonePerfect bar
- Veggie & rib soup
- Fruit salad
- PB&J |
September 26, 2015 at 8:25am September 26, 2015 at 8:25am
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FIVE DAYS TIL PREP!
...and there shall be a promo contest. Watch for today's 5-day warning email.
Food Log: 9/25/15
- Coffee
- Peanut butter
- Half bagel with ham and cheese (2, had one later in the day as well)
- Banana
- Zone Bar
- Almonds
- Spinach salad with grilled chicken in bbq, tomatoes, onions, and catalina
- Homemade veggie soup w/potatoes, celery, carrots, and leftover ribs
- PB&J (half)
Cheers,
Michelle
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September 25, 2015 at 8:33am September 25, 2015 at 8:33am
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SIX DAYS TIL PREP!
I plugged "October Novel Prep Challenge" [13+] on both the Contests and Activities pages, which I've done for many years. Yesterday, for the first time, a moderator pulled one of the plugs and stated that an item may only be posted on one or the other, not both. I reread the rules on both pages, and nowhere does it explicitly state that. It says the Contest Page is for contests only, and the Activities Page is for non-contest activities only. But the Prep meets both criteria. It includes four weekly competitive contest rounds, which are optional, and which writers may enter without completing a single other assignment. So the contest portion of the event and the activity portion of the event, while connected, are primarily independent of one another. I am hoping we get an exception so we can maximize participation in the event. Not only does the Prep bring new writers to WDC, raise and spend large amounts of GPs, and encourage community, but it also clearly meets all of the stated rules on both pages. And frankly, neither the Contests page nor the Activities page moves so quickly that removing the Prep from one of the pages serves any beneficial purpose at all.
I've submitted a request for an exception.
Food Log: 9/24/15
 Coffee
Peanut butter
Half bagel w/ham, cheese, tomato
Bratwurst on bun with onion & mustard
ZonePerfect bars (2)
Serving of almonds
Healthy Choice dinner w/turkey, mashed potatoes, veggie medley
I've been peeking at Artemismad  's blog. My food choices seem so unrefined and unclassy compared to hers, lol.
Cheers,
Michelle
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September 24, 2015 at 7:42am September 24, 2015 at 7:42am
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Yesterday, I journaled at 750Words.com for the first time in awhile. I brain-vomited my to-do list, and then started working on things. I kept going back to 750 to add things I'd suddenly remembered, update things I'd finished, and brainstormed how to do some of the more complex things on the list. And I had one of the most productive days I've had in a long time. I may have cheated a little (I took the very expensive ADD medication that I've been hoarding since hubby's job loss) but I also think that getting it all out on "paper" helped a lot.
The most significant accomplishment was taking steps to implement a scholarship program. It's not quite done, so I need to take more steps today after our staff meeting. I also approved an entire month's worth of payroll (but that's not such a great achievement since I should have been keeping up with it, lol.)
Food Log: 9/23/15
- Coffee
- Peanut butter
- ZonePerfect bars (3, bfast, lunch & dinner)
....I was too busy to stop for food
- Almonds (2 servings, same... thank goodness I keep food in my purse)
- Turkey snack sticks (2)
- Beef jerky
- String cheese
- Mashed potatoes
........and then I noticed the cookie dough that my evil husband bought.  I didn't eat any cookies (or dough), but I folded and ate another half PB&J. I'm out of Welch's grape but it turns out PB&J with strawberry jam is just as tasty. |
September 23, 2015 at 8:26am September 23, 2015 at 8:26am
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EIGHT DAYS TIL PREP!
Food Log 9/22/15:
- Coffee
- Peanut butter
- Half bagel with ham and cheese
- Chili w/cheese
- Fruit salad w/fresh apples, strawberries, bananas, avocado
- String cheese
- Turkey snack sticks
- Mashed potatoes
- Chicken pot pie
I desperately wanted to make a half PB&J again last night for "dessert" but I didn't!  |
September 22, 2015 at 8:59am September 22, 2015 at 8:59am September 21, 2015 at 8:17am September 21, 2015 at 8:17am
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Had a crisis of confidence last night.
No, seriously. 
I complain about scope creep a lot, but it's a serious problem. I can't finish a story because in my head, the stories never end. There are more characters and more problems and more twists and turns, and they can span generations. So how do I go about resolving a single conflict for a single character in a single story? ...or identifying a single conflict in the first place, without introducing a zillion side plots?
I'm not sure. I'm not good at it. And short stories are the worst. I'd like to get better at them.
You'd think writing a simple story would be an easy task.
Thanks, Mumsy  , for talking me off the ledge and helping me focus enough to meet my "I Write in August-September-October" [ASR] requirements without having a meltdown in the process.
Food Log 9/20/15:
- Coffee w/sugar-free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Clif bar
- Grilled chicken wrap w/tomato, cheese, spinach, dijon mustard
- Corn on the cob
- Mashed potatoes
- PB&J (half a sandwich and definitely a bit of a cheat)
- Chili w/cheddar cheese
- Almonds
- Crystal Light
So I cheated a bit on the PB&J. It was half a sammich made with the heel but the whole reason I ate it was because I was craving sweet, and Welch's Grape is about as sweet as any donut. But it's real fruit? ...so is apple pie, and you won't catch me justifying THAT as valid food. |
September 20, 2015 at 7:57am September 20, 2015 at 7:57am
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How the hell did it get to be September 20th already?
The first fifteen minutes of my day this morning were complete and total shit. If you're intrigued, read on. And thank you for reveling in my misery. I love you, too.
I woke up early for bio reasons. I zombie-walked past the sleeping dog, out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and into the kitchen adjacent to the living room so I could start the coffee.
That's when I remembered the sleepover featuring four teenage boys.
They were sprawled all over the furniture and floor in the living room. I tried to be as quiet as possible while making the coffee, but you can't shush running water. They started to stir, and I felt guilty. But, damnit, I wanted coffee.
On a typical morning, I would gather up my computer and peripherals from the living room (where I "work" in front of the TV in the evenings) and move to the office (where I WORK in the mornings.) Luckily, I'd remembered to collect my stuff last night. Unluckily, I'd forgotten the Chromebook itself, which was tucked between the end table and the couch, which was occupied by a seventeen-year-old boy, and which I had to creep past and tiptoe over three other teenage boys to reach.
So far, so good... until I realized that I'd also left my mouse in the bedroom. I didn't want to go back in there to get it because the dog always wakes the second time I go into the bedroom. Instead, I scoped out my husband's computer (my old broken laptop) to see if he had an extra mouse handy.
I found his laptop closed. I started to whisper obscenities.
You can't close that laptop. The screen is broken. I swear if that happens again the thing will never boot back up. You almost have to see it to understand but the screen is separating in the lower left-hand corner, near the fan, and when you open or close the lid, it puts pressure around the hinge. The pieces of the chassis separate and break further, and black liquid crystal stuff spreads across the entire screen. And the worse the chassis breaks, the worse the computer overheats. Eventually, the hard drive will fail.
You can't close that laptop.
Keith needs that computer operational in order to find a job. Otherwise we'll have to buy a new computer. *points to the sentence indicating that he's looking for a job and therefore doesn't have a paycheck*
I specifically told the teenager who actually lives here to be careful around that computer last night when he was looking for ways to hook up his own laptop to the TV. It's only partially his fault. I know he has ADD. When I said, "Be careful around the computer and don't jostle it," I should have instead said, "Come here. See this computer? Don't close the lid. Don't touch the computer. Don't even breathe on it. But especially don't close the lid. Now repeat that back to me." So the obscenity-whispering was in part anger at the teenager for closing the lid and anger at myself for not being more clear.
The computer sits in the dining area, just off the kitchen, on the side opposite the living room. I realized that whispering obscenities defeated the purpose of all my earlier tiptoeing, so I shut my mouth and fumed silently, vowing to chew the teenager's ass out later when the rest of the boys were gone. I didn't find a spare mouse, so I went into the bedroom to get mine.
And since it was the second time I moved around in there, the dog hopped up and wanted to join me. Of course he wanted to investigate the boys in the living room.
Now, I've got him locked in the office with me. He's lying on the guest bed making puppy dog eyes at me, begging me to let him go out and play, or at least explore the house.
Just be quiet and chew your bone, Sammy.
Food Log: 9/19/16
- Coffee w/sugar-free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Maple brown sugar oatmeal*
- Leftover pizza
- Keith's yummeh homemade chili with cheese and sour cream
.......and then the craving hit**
- Chocolate chip Fiber One granola bar
- Toast with butter
- Handful of grapes
- Crystal Light
* The oatmeal is sweet and I probably won't eat it again, at least not before I meet my 21-day goal. However, I ate it because I told a friend about my addiction to cereal (it looks lie this: top off the cereal to use leftover milk; add a little milk because the cereal is dry; repeat) and she said she had the same problem. She switched to oatmeal because you serve yourself a fixed quantity and you're done. It appeals to my sense of logic, so I intend to implement it in the long-term. Interesting observation: I found the maple brown sugar flavor a little too sweet.
** I wanted cookies or a cupcake or a donut sooooo badly. It was all I could think about for at least an hour. I didn't eat the granola bar at first, but after an hour or so of misery, I folded. It's sweet, and I shouldn't have eaten it, but it was the "healthiest" sweet thing I could think of. But this isn't about health, at least not in the short term. It's about breaking addiction, and I failed just a little bit. And it wasn't even enough. The toast and the grapes were more attempts to satisfy that urge for sugar or just carbs or whatever. Bleh.
I'll do better today. |
September 19, 2015 at 10:04am September 19, 2015 at 10:04am
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Food Log: 9/18/16
- Coffee w/sugar-free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Half onion bagel with cheese and tomato (can you tell we're out of ham?)
- Sausage
- String cheese
- Potbelly skinny roast beef on multi-grain
- 1 serving almonds
- Spinach salad w/grilled chicken, tomato, onion, light catalina
- Butternut squash soup
- Leftover pizza (2 squares)
- Apple cider
If you already read my newsfeed, ignore the following. I'm blogging it to (1) document it, because I usually post work-related work in my blog, and (2) get credit for the word count.
If you're seeing it for the first time, enjoy.
How To Not Get Hired:
Step 1: Complete online application. Indicate that you are underqualified, overpriced, and that you desire more hours that we can offer.
Step 2: Call immediately after completing application and speak with receptionist to say you didn't feel like you were able to sufficiently explain your salary requirements, and even though you understand that we currently have no openings, and that you just wanted confirm that the hiring manager got your information. Learn that the hiring manager is Angela. Leave your phone number with the receptionist (the same number you listed on your application.)
Step 3: Call again the very next day and leave a message with the receptionist that you just want to make sure the hiring manager got your message and application, because you have not heard from Angela.
Step 4: Call again two weeks later and ask to speak with Angie. When you are told no one by that name works here, ask for Angela. When you are told that Angela is not available, insist on speaking with the owner, even though the owner is not the hiring manager for this position. When you are told that email is the best way to reach the owner and instructed to email the owner at the provided address, insist that the owner call you because you don't have an email address.
Because I like numbered lists, here are the reasons I do not intend to hire this candidate.
1. No an email address. Does that even require explanation? Who applies for a job and doesn't have an email address?
2. If it wasn't obvious, she's underqualified, overpriced, and desires more hours than we can offer.
3. While follow-up and assertiveness can be good traits, making demands of the hiring manager's boss is generally not advised. If you are this demanding when you want a job, how much more demanding will you be when you are in our employ?
4. I don't call people. I realize this is a corollary to reason #1, but where #1 was a refusal to hire on principle, this is more of a logistical obstacle. If you can't email me, you won't get hired because I schedule interviews and send offer letters to people through email. Your lack of an email address is really not my problem.
Any questions? What have you learned today, students? |
September 17, 2015 at 8:33pm September 17, 2015 at 8:33pm
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Food Log: 9/17/16
- Coffee w/sugar-free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Half onion bagel with cheese and tomato
- Banana
- Clif bar
- Pecans
- ZonePerfect bar
- Popcorn*
- Pizza
- Apple cider
*Popcorn is an absolute no-no! It clearly meets the criteria of "serves absolutely no nutritional purpose whatsoever" and "you just keep eating and eating and eating" that I established as the definition of the "sweets" and "junk food" I abolished for life21 days. And this was salty, buttery, bar popcorn. I ate it on accident at the pizza place while waiting for our pizza. I just had a brain fart. As soon as I realized I'd been eating "junk" food, I stopped, horrified.
Then proceeded to argue with my family about why pizza isn't "junk" food.
My sister-in-law kept persisting. I got testy. Snappy, even. Finally, I explained it in terms she could understand. Background information: SIL is a smoker.
Me: "It doesn't meet my criteria."
SIL: "It's junk food."
Me: "Back off! It's not junk food, and I'm serious, and I'm about to get upset!"
Silence.
Me: "Look, I'm addicted to food and I haven't had sweets or junk in five days. Have you ever tried to quit smoking for five days?"
SIL: "Yep."
Me: "Were you cranky?"
SIL: "Yep."
Me: "And if someone tried to tell you on Day 5 that switching to your vapor thingy doesn't count as quitting, what would you tell them?"
SIL: "I'd tell them to shut the hell up and back off."
Exactly.
And for the record, I was wrong. This is Day 7, not Day 5.  |
September 17, 2015 at 6:57am September 17, 2015 at 6:57am
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Food Log: 9/16/15
- Coffee w/sugar-free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Half onion bagel w/ham and cheese (I'm a creature of habit!)
- Banana
- Cheeseburger (the dollar-menu variety, from Wendy's)
- Nuts
- ZonePerfect bar
- Beef jerky (I dropped the dog off w/Keith, who was fishing, because he's unemployed and can, and beef jerky is what he had)
- String cheese (the other food that Fisherman Keith had in the cooler)
- Mashed potatoes (I'm starting to think this is a trigger food... I just want more... and more... and more...)
- Apple cider... but I was proud of myself that I only drank half the glass (rather than refilling the glass like I did the other day!)
Nothing else to report, except that I miss donuts. |
September 16, 2015 at 6:54am September 16, 2015 at 6:54am
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I have to cut costs in my Gahanna campus. Big time.
Two factors affect our student counts: enrollments and withdrawals. Of course we prefer if every student studies their instrument forever, but that's not realistic. Some students never practice. Some pick up too many sports and can't juggle music into their schedules (no, seriously, that actually happens.  ) Some stay with music but they move away or leave for college. And the one that breaks my heart the most is when they lose a job or for some reason can no longer afford lessons, even though the student is passionate about their instrument.
In an ideal world, we always have more enrollments than withdrawals, and we keep getting bigger and bigger. But in the last year, our student counts have been gradually declining. Where we once had nearly four hundred students, we now have only three hundred.
My budget meeting yesterday was painful, but I think we've found ways to cut budgets without too big of a hit on morale or cutting salaries or wages. It was HARD, and there will still be sacrifices. Some perks will be going away, and we'll have to limp along without repairing or replacing computers that run too slow, guitars and violins that have to be tuned every time, and pianos that have keys that don't work.
I have to believe this is temporary. We soared past three hundred originally. I can't believe this is our steady state. One theory is that with the economy on the rebound, people have been going on vacation and buying the car they've been limping along without, which ties up their monthly funds. Another theory is that the construction on the main road around the school and in the plaza itself is causing too many headaches for people to walk in our doors. A third theory is simple marketing 101: we've increased our prices gradually every year, and as prices go up, volume goes down.
Here's hoping that when the construction ends, people rearrange their budgets, and people realize that inflation is a thing, we'll climb back up again. In the meantime, I have to cut costs just to break even in Gahanna. This is not a get-rich-quick business. It's an "I love my job" business, an "I'm making a difference" business, an "I'm sharing my passion with others" business, an "I employ a lot of people" business.
Our newer (Polaris) campus, by the way, is still growing. It's growing a lot slower than Gahanna ever did but at least the growth is headed in the right direction. 
On a happier note, we are launching a scholarship program this year for underprivileged middle schoolers in the two local public school districts that house our two campuses. We can afford it because I, along with a couple of my instructor employees, are willing to take on a handful of pro bono students. We will be working with the school districts to get candidates. Students who are on discounted or free lunch may apply, and they have to get a recommendation from their music teacher stating that they have natural musical aptitude and are hardworking, and they have to perform at a minimum number of our recitals.
So that's good, at least.
Yesterday was a busy day, and one that had me outside of my house for most of the day with little access to food. Although it was painful budget meetings keeping down my calorie count, I suppose I should celebrate the little victories.
Food Log: 9/15/15
- Coffee w/sugar free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Half bagel with ham, cheese, tomato
- Banana
- Chipotle: One steak taco w/fajita veggies/tomatoes/cheese, half serving chips/guac
- Lance cheese crackers (very questionable but the least junky thing I could find)
- ZonePerfect bar |
September 14, 2015 at 9:34pm September 14, 2015 at 9:34pm
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Week 1 of "I Write in August-September-October" [ASR] was a gimme because the contest started late this season... and I survived Week 2. I wrote my first fiction work since probably NaNo of 2014, plus wrote a decent-length review.
Only (11?) weeks to go.
It will be an interesting fall, between I Write, Prep, NaNo, and a trip to the Bahamas near the end of November. Doh... did we plan my honeymoon during NaNo??? Stupid music school breaks that we have to schedule around.
Food Log: 9/14/15
- Coffee with sugar free creamer
- Peanut butter
- Half bagel w/ham, cheese, tomato, spinach
- ZonePerfect bar
- One serving walnuts
- ZonePerfect bar
- Sushi (shrimp tempura, six pieces)
- Kar's Raisin Almond Cashew Mix
- Grilled chicken tenderloin on bun w/bacon, bbq, tomato, onion, spinach
- Leftover chicken & veggie soup from yesterday
- Apple cider
I haven't had cake, cookies, ice cream, etc. in three days, and believe me, they've been available. I'm pretty proud. Three days down, eighteen to go. |
September 13, 2015 at 9:15pm September 13, 2015 at 9:15pm
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I signed up for "I Write in August-September-October" [ASR] because I like to torture myself. Therefore, I have to write something and submit it to a contest within the next two days.
GAH!
(I love nested WritingML {size} commands. So dramatic.)
Food log for Sunday, 9/13/15:
- Sbux tall skinny vanilla latte (significant improvement from my typical white mocha!)
- Coffee w/creamer (no sugar - and it wasn't bad!  )
- Cranberry pomegranate Clif bar
- One serving macadamia nuts
- Onion bagel with ham and cheese, tomato, spinach, bacon
- Chicken broth with chopped green beans
- Two pieces beef jerky (which was way too hot)
- Apple cider (questionable, but from the farmer's market during apple season)
- Homemade soup w/shredded chicken breast meat and lots o' veggies
- Ear sweet corn w/butter
- Brat in bun w/dijon mustard and shredded cheese
- Butternut squash
- String cheese
...and I think I'm done eating for the night.
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September 13, 2015 at 12:31pm September 13, 2015 at 12:31pm
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FOOD LOG for Saturday, 9/12/15:
- Coffee with sugar free creamer
- One tablespoon peanut butter
- One serving raw walnuts
- String cheese
- Spinach salad w/pork loin, corn, green beans, onion, tomato, shredded cheese, sliced jalapeno string cheese (no dressing)
- Cinnamon raisin English muffin, toasted with butter
- Cup of raspberries/blackberries with honey
- Fruit salad with raspberries, blackberries, sliced banana, and pecans
- Two slices ham, one slice cheese
- 1 cup mashed potatoes
The English muffin and the berries with honey might have been a *little* bit of a cheat. I was obviously craving something sweet. |
September 11, 2015 at 3:37pm September 11, 2015 at 3:37pm
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WebMD finally recognizes food addiction as a thing.
I've been telling my doctors (gyn and gp) for years that I suffer from a food addiction. You know what they tell me?
Just eat less calories. Everything in moderation.
This is not helpful, because instead of following their (seemingly simple) instructions, I continue to binge, to stuff myself so full that I feel physically ill for hours, and I can't sleep through the back pain and abdominal cramping all night.
And then I feel like a failure. Because it should be simple, right?
Just eat less calories. Everything in moderation.
Like the addict that I am, I hide my eating habits from friends, family, and pretty much everyone... except when I'm at a church potluck, or a party, or a buffet, where everyone can see the huge pile that I can't help but stack on my plate, even though it embarrasses me.
I need to stop hiding. The people around me have to stop letting me get away with it.
I'm going to (try to) stop eating non-practical foods. I think that strategy will work because I'm a practical person. If it doesn't serve a nutritional purpose, it doesn't go into my body.
I don't know if I can do it.
But I'm going to try for 21 days. And I'm going to log my food publicly so you can all see how much of a glutton successful I'm being. Please hold me accountable, friends! If I'm not logging my food, message me and ask me what I've been eating today.
On the list for elimination:
- salty snacks like chips and pretzels
- candy, ice cream, cake, cookies, pretty much anything classified as "dessert"
- cereal, because I do this thing where I continually refill my bowl before it's empty so I can't count bowls
At this point, the list is still growing, but that's what I have for now. Everything I read about this addiction says you have to permanently eliminate trigger foods from your diet for life. Chips and cookies are trigger foods! Salty snacks are okay if they have protein. Fresh, frozen, or canned fruit is okay, but not dried fruit (which is practically candy.)
Although controlling my weight will be a nice side effect, the primary goal is to fight a very serious and very real addiction.
Thanks in advance for your tough love. Today's food log is published below and is a work in progress.
Cheers,
Michelle
Friday, 9/11/15
- 8:00am Coffee w/2 tablespoons sugar free creamer
- 8:00am Tablespoon of peanut butter (so I can take my iron pill)
- 9:30am Half an onion bagel with 1 thin-sliced Swiss, 2 thin-sliced ham, 1 slice tomato
- 11:00am ZonePerfect bar
- 2:00pm Potbelly skinny roast beef on multigrain w/onion, tomato, italian seasoning (no condiments)
- 3:30pm Old Wisconsin turkey snack stick
- 4:30pm Another turkey snack stick (they're tiny 70-cal things)
- 6:00pm Macadamia nuts
- 7:00pm Spinach salad w/tomato, onion, corn, green beans, cheese, smoked pork loin and light catalina dressing
- 7:30pm Grapes (while my guest eats a Li'l Drummie without me
THIS IS MY FIGHT SONG
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Thanks for sharing!
Comment • View 2 comments 
, also known as Michelle Tuesday, is a musician, educator and writer hailing from Columbus, Ohio.![Merit Badge in Music
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To a dear friend whose talent for writing music is sensational. May you have a fabulous New Year, (((Brandi)))!!! *^*Kiss*^*
Big hugs,
Sherri *^*Heart*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Music-1050.gif)
![Merit Badge in Organization
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I don't know how you do it, but I assume there's magic involved *^*Bigsmile*^* I have really enjoyed this month of planning and preparation for NaNoWriMo and I love how organized it all is. Thank you for hosting a great challenge and for your dedication to helping so many of us prepare with confidence and trepidation for National Novel Writing Month (known to sane folks as 'November' *^*Laugh*^*) at your [Link To Item #1474311]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Organization-1150.gif)
![Merit Badge in Leadership
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For your hard work, commitment, talent and innovation in running the October NaNoWriMo Preparation each year, which helps many of us get our scattered thoughts together for November's novel-writing. And also because this badge has ducks on it.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Leadership.gif)
