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About This Author
My name is Joy, and I love to write.
Why poetry, here? Because poetry uplifts its writer, and if she is lucky enough, her readers, too. Around us, so many objects abound to write about. Once a poet starts with a smallest, most trivial object, he shall discover that his pen will spill out what is most delicate or most majestic hidden inside him. Since the classics sometimes dealt with lofty subjects with a lofty language, a person with poetry in his soul may incline to emulate that. That is understandable. Poetry does that to a person: it enlarges the soul and gives it wings. Yet, to really soar, a poet needs to take off from the ground.
 
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Everyday Canvas
"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."
CHARLIE CHAPLIN
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
David Whyte
This is my supplementary blog in which I will post entries written for prompts.
February 26, 2017 at 8:04pm February 26, 2017 at 8:04pm
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PROMPT: Wishes. Miracles. Prayers. Positive vibes. Do you believe in any of these? Do you feel they have an impact in any way? What's your go-to coping mechanism in times of crisis, and why?
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Fact is, life is one big puzzle and no one knows clearly how its pieces fit. Fact is, I don’t have a clue what I will write for this one. So, I figure I’ll just free-flow.
Wishes, miracles, prayers, or positive vibes are things I have paid tribute to, depending on who I am talking with while believing or half-believing those things at that moment. This is because we humans define our own stability through the relations with others and in relation to others.
This said, the question I have to ask myself is, what do I really believe 100%. I believe that a creation so multi-faceted and so complex has to be the art of a very high intelligence, and I believe in the existence of a higher power or a conglomerate of powers that created everything. In other words, God. I am not here to define God, however. This is far beyond my capabilities. Plus, who can define the unknowable?
This means everything under God is a possibility. Not a certainty but a possibility. Possibility because our minds have reasoned, throughout the history, what people should or should not believe in,for several different reasons such as according to where they are and with whom (which group, religion, race, or nation) they belong.
Yet, do wishes come true and do miracles exist? Maybe, sometimes; then, maybe not. Do prayers and positive vibes help? Maybe and maybe not. I understand other species have receptors that can feel or decipher things locked to us, as our five senses fall short of being adequate. Any person who has some kind of a closeness to an animal or animals can discover that their sensing is quite different and sometimes more sophisticated from ours.
As to prayers and positive vibes, they may help, at least in some ways we relate to one another if we somehow own the kind of antennae unknown to ourselves. Thus, it wouldn’t hurt to revert to prayer, wishful thinking, sending good vibes, or being hopeful. At least, those things can’t hurt, and at times, they can be of help as a means of consolation and emotional support.
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February 25, 2017 at 6:26pm February 25, 2017 at 6:26pm
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“If our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us.” ― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein
What do you think Shelley means by this quote? Do you agree or disagree?
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It is impossible to hear of Shelley and not recall her Frankenstein. I guess Shelley was talking through her monster who was saying he wanted to be human with human feelings, but he also realized that being human meant that he would have to become greater than what his bodily existence would allow and he wasn’t sure he could handle all those different meanings from words, objects, and events happening around him.
If I take the quote on its own merit and discard the monster, I’d probably agree with feeling free when our bodily needs are met; yet, I don’t think it bothers me to face the potential consequences of living a learned, thoughtful, and emotional life. In fact, I’d rather take anything meaningful instead of just being happy by having my physical necessities met.
Writing an unsentimental love poem or short story can be one of the more difficult endeavors a writer can take on, whether the subject of that poem/ short story is a lover, a family member, or friend. Taking inspiration from the popular film 10 Things I Hate About You, a modern retelling of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, write an ode to the aspects of a loved one that downright irk you. How might you use a form of repetition in your poem/ story--like an anaphora or refrain--to build tension and showcase either the unlikable or admirable aspects of this person? Let those creative juices go
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In my memory, Honey, you, of furtive steps, were the wolf
in sheep’s clothing, stunningly debonair though you were.
In my memory, Honey, about your chief concern, money,
you slipped and, that poor girl, your hunger captured her.
In my memory, Honey, she sensed your praise was fake
and you held a grudge; she could sniff those things out.
In my memory, Honey, she noticed, without doubt, your spite,
your malice, your groping in darkness and drought.
In my memory, Honey, you abandoned the mighty
through your ignited speech at the theater of demolition
In my memory, Honey, you really were the garbage
she threw out with gumption once she had the option.
 That “he” is my ex-brother-in-law.
Prompt: "The Rain, The Park and Other Things." A song by The Cowsills. Write what you want about this prompt.
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Some songs point to reality, others to dreams. Psychedelic music is not my thing, but I can see how a young-man songwriter could dream of a flower girl in a park, after hearing the sound of the rain or imitating it with his instruments.
It is a fact that with some things we are sometimes not very sure whether they are dreams or reality. Lucid dreams, for example, are conscious experiences; yet, they still are dreams.
There may still be other experiences in life that are surreal, strange, weird, fantasy, illusion, things too bad to imagine, or things too good to be true. This brings to mind the kiddie song, “Row, row, row your boat,” which ends with “life is but a dream.”
Is life a dream? Can we truly know if we are awake or dreaming? In addition, can something be two things all at once together with all its components? Frankly, there is no logical basis to these questions even if they might have any valid answers.
By the same token, there is no logic in thinking in these terms, especially when I can just enjoy any moment regardless of which reality it is in. Then, all this doesn’t really matter because my mind doesn’t hang on to psychedelic anything.
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February 22, 2017 at 6:24pm February 22, 2017 at 6:24pm
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Prompt: "One's enjoyment is doubled when one can share it with a friend." Marie Antoinette
What things do you enjoy sharing with a friend?
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I am not a fan of Marie Antoinette, who although showing some depth after gaining maturity, usually sounded frivolous and superficial, but I am a big fan of my close friends. Yet, with each friend, I usually do something different as most of my friends are doers with varied interests and are usually well-read.
In the past, with several of my friends, I used to do team sports, like bowling, tennis, and running, but now in old age, we’re not doing any of those things and we’re all scattered over the country and even the world, anyway. On the other hand, there are other things I like to do with friends. Going places with them and exploring new, interesting things together can be a lot of fun, but for my favorite occupations, which are writing and reading, I require solitude, so the more secluded I am the better while doing either.
What I don’t like is hanging out with people I know little of and not having any idea what to do with them. I guess I can come up with a bit of small talk, which ends up annoying in the long run.
Coming back to Marie Antoinette, since she was tossed into the courtly life at a very young age, she felt the need for close friendships from all walks of life. Unfortunately, the way she gushed about her close friends allowed the gossipers to come up with sordid misinterpretations of her feelings and actions. This quote might be one of those that could have made those hostile tongues wagging.
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February 21, 2017 at 6:47pm February 21, 2017 at 6:47pm
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Prompt: Jacques Derrida in the Ear of the Other, writes: “Prayer works for many people; sometimes therapy works for me, but literature has really been the most reliable way for me to access emotion.”
What is your take on the quote? Do you get emotional with some of what you read or does your reading encourage you to discover different emotions for specific subjects?
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Literature, especially fiction, is a cultural resource for everyone but especially for the younger set as it introduces and elaborates on complex social relationships and emotional characteristics of the human species.
While in my teens, possibly because I adored a lit teacher and another poet, I read the classics voraciously. Among what I read in those days, The Idiot by Dostoevsky introduced me to emotional concepts foreign to me; although I wasn’t and am not as nice a person as Prince Mishkin, not only I felt for him, but also, I felt with him. Dostoevsky’s Tales from the Underground managed to do the same thing; with that book, I experienced being imprisoned and unjustly treated. Those books taught me empathy for people suffering unfamiliar hardships, and since, in real life situations, empathy was stressed by my family’s upbringing, what I read validated it for any situation.
Why do we respond emotionally to a story that we know is make-believe? Seemingly, there might not be a rational basis for our emotional responses to fiction. Yet, because fiction imitates life and relationships, when we see a similar situation to ours, we have no alternative but to respond emotionally to it. Even in situations alien to our personal experiences, through empathy or sympathy, we learn about others’ joys and miseries and feel their emotions even if the characters in a story may not be real people. By the same token, the younger and less experienced reader can learn a lot about the world and the different situations in it and can be introduced to emotions he or she hasn’t experienced yet.
For me, fiction has to have meaning other than fast action or cheap thrills. Decades after my teenage years, I am still looking for the deep emotion in any story, especially if it is not written in a sappy style or manner. I think, since I am part of this brief and transitory life, I need to learn what I possibly can, and since I can’t experience every single situation, I might as well become emotionally engaged in fiction’s game of make-believe.
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February 20, 2017 at 7:40pm February 20, 2017 at 7:40pm
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Prompt: If you could write some advice for the entire humankind on a board or tablet where everyone could see, what would that advice be? It can be as short or as long as you wish.
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Chill out, humanity! Stop all wars.
People, be kind and don’t impose your ideas and beliefs on one another. This is not helping you as persons or as groups. Try not to cross the line with other groups or persons.
Don’t be greedy. For the sake of your own gain or your company’s or group’s welfare, don’t stop or hinder inventions and discoveries. If you are lucky enough to come up with something that will help others, distribute it freely or with little gain. For example, raising an important medicine’s price 500% for monetary gain ranks a person or group way below the animal and plant kingdoms where ethics is concerned.
In other words, as individuals, find your purpose in life and go after excellence not monetary or fame-related success, and instill this idea in your offspring and those who may be looking up to you.
Still as individuals, don’t be hasty in complaining and finding fault with others; instead, give support and show affection, understanding, and acceptance to those who need it. Even your support of one person can lead to the elevation of the entire humanity.
If a problem needs fixing anywhere in the world it up to us, the humankind, to fix it. After all, we’re all in this together.
PROMPT: Name three things you're doing or can do in your life that are making the world a better place.
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Not just for me but for those who like to write, the saying, “Pen is mightier than the sword” can go a long way. Rather than fighting others’ negative ideas or thoughts, if we were to promote truth, peace, good will, and acceptance, I think the world would be a better place. I try to do this from my very tiny corner in this world. I hope it works at least on one person.
In addition, doing the best with my work and those things I am responsible for has been a lifelong quest. I am not always very successful, but I try.
Then, helping others when I can and embracing all life is also in the works. I wish what I do can help someone in some way, and I hope I don't step on anyone or any living being, so at least, at the end of my life, I might be able to sing my swan song without having hurt any person or a living being.
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February 18, 2017 at 8:26pm February 18, 2017 at 8:26pm
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Prompt: What board game is your favorite? Do you still play board games with family or friends? How do you feel about so many of the games be updated?
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I used to play Chinese checkers, chess, and backgammon with my cousins and friends when I was young. Later on, I taught Chess to my kids and my older son became quite good at it, later acquiring a good ranking in Manhattan Chess Club. I can’t play chess anymore, especially against him.
I recall playing with my kids these board games: Memory, Sorry, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Go to the Head of the Class, Game of the States. There are others mostly to do with Geography and words and such, but I can’t remember their names. There was also a trend of making and selling board games with the names of the popular TV shows, then, but I don’t think we ever played those.
My favorite board game of all time is probably Chess, although now I couldn’t keep my mind on it to win or even stay put without yawning throughout a game.
Prompt: Did you know Mr. Potato Head was the first toy to be advertised on TV? What's the first toy you can remember being advertised?
What kind of media was it advertised? Book, catalog, newspaper, radio, television Did you get it?
To tell you the truth, I never liked Mr. Potato Head. It was an ugly toy; at least, that’s what I thought when given to me as a gift. I remember it being advertised on TV, though.
After I turned four, I only liked books. I played with toys when there were other children around, but not by myself. My favorite toy, earlier, was a teddy bear. I know because I have a photo with me holding a tiny bear by its throat. I remember seeing teddy bear photos in magazines. Probably they were women’s magazines, but I don’t recall the names of the publications. I think Teddy Bears came into being when Teddy Roosevelt was the president. (No, I am not that old!  )
I googled Teddy Bears and it says in the History Channel, “1903-The first Teddy bear goes on sale,” but I don’t know when Teddy Bears were first advertised or where. Come to think of it, they might have been in an old Sears Catalog.
Prompt: "It's important that my products are beautiful but it matters that they are functional." How do you feel about this?
Well, I think beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Function is for everybody’s use. The same goes not only for objects but for people, too. Beautiful people, at least those our society nowadays deems to be beautiful, may be good to look at, but what people do is more important. If their being in the world doesn’t help anyone or any cause, what good is their beauty?
Thus, I’d adapt the quotation to my thinking in this way: “The importance of my products is in their being functional; their beauty is only a plus.”
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February 15, 2017 at 2:27pm February 15, 2017 at 2:27pm
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Prompt: "As the room gradually lightens like an empty stage before my eyes, I am aware that another day, another play in which I will be responsible for writing the script, developing the main character and managing the props is about to begin." Okay. Writers and friends write about your day and life.
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Another day and I am alive. I wake up and thank God that I am still breathing and it is a nice day out, a bit windy, but I am not picking on the weather, at all. Being alive is good enough. Breathe or not…these are the main consequences of having been born. At this time, I am on the side of breathing as it is the only thing I know and I am grateful for it.
Looking at the bathroom mirror, I can’t help smiling as my eyes take hold of the little paper fastened to the side that says, “We all know mirrors don’t lie, but I am just grateful that they don’t laugh.” I gypped these words from the internet somewhere. They always make me giggle or smirk or smile, and they lighten up another day that I will live through.
Hubby is up before me. I go to the living area and ask him when he wants his coffee. He has his own morning rituals, and his breakfast rituals are much more complicated than mine. I put water in the kettle for tea and coffee. Although we have three fancy drip-coffee-makers, I am using just a funnel-like little tool, which makes my routine easier since he’s the only one who has coffee in the mornings. I always drink tea. My need for coffee arrives a little later around lunch time if it ever comes.
The rest of my morning is spent on the chores and a peek or two at the internet. Meanwhile, hubby fills me in about the goings on with the politics, stock market, or whatever juicy action he’s been watching on TV. So much for what’s happening in the world! I am not into television at all. I get those cheap thrills of what’s on the screen through him. Knowledge of the world by proxy. I am economical that way.
A good book is another thing, though, and what I like the most, but what if books instead of the TV screen were the ones to give us those fleeting lowly thrills? The thought makes me shudder.
My failing, when it comes to TV, are the webcams. I love watching the webcams that people have affixed around where life is, like those of wild animals and busy city streets. Just watching those gives me story ideas and I feel I am temporarily there with those beings inside their real lives.
During the last few months, I’ve been watching a bald-eagle cam from Fort Myers. The bald-eagle couple M15 and Harriet (named by the moderators of the site) have an eaglet E9, who is 46 days old today, and she is not anymore that fuzz-ball chick at birth; she is almost as big as M15, her daddy. I think I am getting emotionally attached to this bald-eagle family, but when the baby flies off the nest and the parents, too, fly away, I’ll be all right because the same happened with my babies, and I know and accept that this is the way of the world.
Prompt: Talking about love, what do you think about people who believe the ideas on love that belong to others rather than finding out what love is for themselves and the persons who are always looking for their next love but do not work on trying to love themselves?
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Love seems to be the main goal everyone strives for since birth. In fact, it has been established that newborns, when they are not subjected to human touch, do not do well and most do not even survive.
Love has many different faces and all of them are good and desirable; that is as long as any one kind of love is sincere and hopefully unconditional. It is this unconditional aspect that eradicates the idea of the negative in love. Thus, I have to say any true love is positive, even if it may have its ups and downs.
Of all the different forms and faces of love, self-love is the foundation of a person’s most important relationship. Loving oneself has to do with the awe annd respect of one’s own being and accepting that being as is. It is not, however, being arrogant or comparing oneself to others or always getting one’s way at the expense of others.
Self-love begins when we look at ourselves with searching eyes and discovering all the nooks and crannies that our characters and personalities hide, and then, accepting what we find out and, if we can, fixing what is lacking.
Self-love suffers when someone else projects their negative feelings toward an impressionable person, mostly a young person who hasn’t gotten to know herself or himself fully, yet. When one’s self-worth is questioned, self-love can turn into self-hate and that is not a healthy way to live or offer oneself for the betterment of the world.
Self-love enables a person to make better choices and allows him or her to rejoice in others’ fortunes and feel a genuine love toward all people. For this reason, self-love is an obligation for and a prerequisite to loving others.
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February 13, 2017 at 4:37pm February 13, 2017 at 4:37pm
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Prompt: “Never react to an evil in such a way as to augment it,” Simone Weil.
Your thoughts on the quote, and in what ways, do you think, one can or should react to evil?
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One thing we ask when faced with evil is, can we destroy it? To begin with, there’s that moral and ethical justification for wanting to destroy all evil, but is this doable? In all likelihood, the option of total destruction may not be possible. Plus, what if our violent response, instead of eradicating evil, amplifies it?
Although, as a word, evil is an abstract that has no substance, its being is felt through its works because evil always creates victims. I believe, if we can take care of the suffering of its victims, we may be able to win half the battle against evil without augmenting it.
In addition, what we call evil may not be evil at all, but a different way of being. True evil, in my opinion, is beyond the limits of reason and it creates chaos and despair wherever and whenever it strikes. Evil is the biggest bully ever and, since bullies can be turned into cowards, we should respond to it appropriately.
To attack evil with strictly evil deeds or to attack violence with strictly violent deeds may only empower evil more. Still, depending on the size and power of the evil, we have to retaliate to make sure it creates no more victims. Once we are able to assess correctly what that evil is and how it works, coming up with different solutions and different angles of attack can give us more ammunition against it. In short, we must think before we act.
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February 12, 2017 at 8:59pm February 12, 2017 at 8:59pm
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Prompt: Which animal species do you think has the highest regard for humans? Which one do you think thinks the least of humans? Don't be afraid to tell us why!
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Highest regard? I don’t exactly know the answer to this, but in my experience, cats and dogs are equally friendly to humans. Although dogs usually seem friendlier, cats also can be very loving and accommodating, too. Then, in the wild, some people are able to form relationships with some species. Speaking for me, birds in the wild are my favorites to watch and interact if at all possible.
As to animals having any regard for humans, how can they when we take over their habitats, dry up their food sources, then put them in cages inside zoos? Judging from my restricted point of view, I’d say elephants and monkeys might think the least of humankind if they can grasp what we’re doing to them. Imagine another species killing us for our teeth…That’s what poachers do to elephants.
Then, primates in zoos end up getting human health problems, especially the diseases that affect the intestines, and the palm oil humans extract from some palms doesn't help either for that action results in leaving little or no food for the young wild monkeys.
I don't think humans, in general, treat animals very nicely, and because of that, chances are most animals are wary of us.
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February 11, 2017 at 11:53am February 11, 2017 at 11:53am
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Prompt: Everyone has a go-to word, that shows up on your blogs or your conversations. Like mine, for instance, is wicked, when I really like something. It's a very popular expression in Maine.
What was your word of the year for 2016? Discuss your go-to word and where your interactions with that word take place. Is it only in your writing or do you use it conversationally as well?
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I never thought about it! I think, when I write or talk, my diction is formed according to the idea behind it, but I guess I use some of the same words at times, too.
To find out, I ran the word count on some of my writings but not much luck there. Then, I asked my husband. According to him, these are the words and phrases I use the most: What? Who says? Are you sure? Nice people! How nice! All right! (All these words are said sometimes for their exact meanings but, at other times, with irony, scorn, whatever.)
Come to think of it, the exclamation I use in speaking the most is ‘nice’. I know I say it when I think something is positive and I also say it with a sneering tone for what’s negative.
Probably, in writing, aside from the words this, that, then, what-where-how-why-when etc., my most frequent word is ‘say’ and the different conjugations of it. I might be favoring some phrases like ‘in addition’ and subordinate clauses starting with ‘if.’ I think I also use ‘still’ ‘then’ ‘however’ a lot.
By the way, I guessed some of this. I am not sure what I do with words...most of the time. 
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February 10, 2017 at 1:14pm February 10, 2017 at 1:14pm
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"Mention improv to a writer and chances are he’ll turn whiter than a whipped cream hat on a snowman".~ Brian Klems Yet, in reality, we do it all the time in our writing. It's just that we never think about the audience as we write.
Imagine you are in a room standing with a group of people discussing your favorite movie but you decide to create a different ending right there on the spot. Well, what's your spin on your favorite movie ending?
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First, about the quote, that observation is probably correct because when we write, we weigh our words more carefully; yet, when we speak, what comes out of our mouths can be what we didn’t exactly mean to say. Not to be political, but a couple of examples that jumped to my mind as I write this are Hillary Clinton’s calling half the USA population "deplorables" and Kellyanne Conway’s “alternative facts.” I truly believe neither woman meant what they said exactly and the words just fell out of their mouths not to be forgotten till kingdom come. Now, can anyone blame the rest of us who fear public speaking, especially if it is on the fly?
As to the movie endings, I am not into movies at all, and I’d probably say to people, “Don’t see the movie, if it is based on an award-winning or a good original book. Read the book! Believe me, you’ll get more out of it.”
Still, not to cheat the prompt, I am going to re-do the ending of Casablanca.
How's this for a brave act!
Airport Scene.
Rick tells Ilsa, “I mean it. You’re getting on that plane!”
Ilsa says, “No, I am not! You get on that plane if you are so in love with Victor!” (Don’t you know I like headstrong women who say what they think!)
Rick says, “What do I want with Victor? I like women, and here’s looking at you, Kid!” and he raises his hand to his mouth acting as if he’s sipping whiskey.
Ilsa's face glows with a smile as she attaches herself to Rick's arm. Renault enters running and announces, “The war’s over! You don’t have to act like spies or patriots anymore!”
They both turn around in bewilderment staring at Renault. Renault flashes a telegram in front of their eyes.
“Ooh!” says Rick, “This changes things a lot!”
Just then Major Strasser arrives waving in the air another copy of the telegram. “Wait up!” he yells at the airplane. “I don’t want to stay here now that the war’s over. I never liked the desert weather. Give me ice and a cold, windy blizzard anytime. Schnell! Take me to my Vaterland, bitte!”
“Sure, Major,” says Ilsa, “You and Victor can become buddies, now. After all, you both have that crude, hard-headed heroism and derring-do personalities.”
Major Strasser rushes into the plane. Ilsa is still glued to Rick.
Renault tells Rick, “Well, Rick you’re not only a sentimentalist, but you are also about to become a husband.”
“After my divorce from Victor comes through,” says Ilsa.
“What the heck,” says Renault. “We’ll have the reception before the divorce.”
(I see no reason to change the last bit of the scene after this too much.)
Rick says, "It seems like a good time to start."
They watch the plane fly off from their point of view. Then, they walk away from the camera; all three are small in the midst of the fog and runway lights; although, glued-together, Ilsa and Rick look like one dangerously obese person.
Rick says, "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Come to dinner sometime with your wife."
Did I mess up a great ending or what!
And I didn't "turn whiter than a whipped cream hat on a snowman," but my face is aflame and red with shame. 
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February 9, 2017 at 1:13pm February 9, 2017 at 1:13pm
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Prompt: "What good is the warmth of summer without the cold of winter to give it sweetness." John Steinbeck
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At face value, the quote means the profound appreciation and thankfulness for something when we compare it to something else that may be worse; however, to me, the truth is a bit different from that.
To start with, where a person is during the summer season or metaphorically during the good times of his or her life matters. For example, where I live summers are difficult to handle. By the same token, at times when everything goes perfectly for some people, they ruin it themselves through their own actions, such as addictions, crime, mistreatment of others, etc.
As to the cold of winter, winter’s cold has its uses, too, such as killing germs and letting the seeds rest under the soil so they can burst open in spring with full energy. Metaphorically in human life, winter’s cold teaches resilience and lets a person dream dreams and store vigor to use under better conditions. It is an established fact that the difficult earlier lives can and do produce success for a good number of people.
In my opinion, summer and winter, as seasons or as metaphors, are both useful and should be experienced with care and dignity.
Prompt: "A word is dead when it is said some say. I say it begins to live that day." Emily Dickinson How do you interpret this quote?
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The quote points out, simply, to all words having possibilities because every word is suggestive with implications and associations, and words, when not said, are inert.
Although some people believe words are killed when used haphazardly, out of context, or with malice, the poet believes in the hidden life inside them and their endless meanings, and once uttered, those words breathe and live. Thus, using words properly is giving life to them.
If used improperly, an uncertainty in communication occurs. Don’t we sometimes think over what has been said to us and try to find connotations in the words of people who we are connected in some way, be it negatively or positively?
From this point of view, not only what is said but how it is said make the words gain meaning and consequence; therefore, thoughtful people and especially writers can give life to words if they stay away from generalities and take care of how and why they are using their words.
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February 7, 2017 at 6:10pm February 7, 2017 at 6:10pm
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In Gaslight (1944), the movie, a husband manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0036855
“Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality, and it works well,” says the psychologist Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D.
The situation need not be a husband-wife thing; it could be teacher-student, two friends, two colleagues, two countries, etc.
Prompt: When someone causes another person question his or herself as to the existence of their mind, willpower, smarts, judgment, beauty, etc., how would you help the victim see the truth? Then, what do you think of those who gaslight? Are they aware of their own actions?
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Gaslighting happens all the time, but because we are not aware of it happening, we don’t recognize it. The most shameful and somewhat obvious example of it is between the politicians and their voters. Some of those politicians try to make people believe that status quo is perfect and they are the only ones who could keep it working. Yet, the opposite, other politicians make people believe that their country is going to the dogs and they are the only one to save it from extinction.
On the personal experience side, there was this therapist who used to work in the same place with my husband. He used to tell his wife she is not quite there, but the way she was acting, he didn’t fault her, for she had reasons because of her upbringing, but could she please see what has been happening to her? Oh, he felt so bad for her!
Worse yet, she believed him because she was a high school dropout and she worshiped him for his education and God knows what else. When he said something derogatory and she was upset, he would say, “I was only joking! Oh, my poor dear, aren’t you feeling well, again?”
We all knew he was doing all this to cover up his misbehavior toward her, especially the affairs, which he claimed were in her head because of her inferiority-complex-induced delusions. Finally, when presented with a few solid pieces of evidence to a few things, the wife caught on to the truth.
I would say to any victimized person, “If someone is making you feel bad about yourself, ask yourself if he could be a gaslighter.”
How to pick a gaslighter is a job, because they are excellent liars. They not only make one person believe something but a whole lot of people, too. When they tell a lie, one can’t know if they are lying because their gestures, face, and demeanor never give them away. They are really good at lying. Then if they are caught in the lie, they deny it. According to them, they didn’t really mean it that way, or it was a joke or, worse yet, you heard them wrong.
They also use anything and anyone important to the victim as ammunition. It could be tie parents, family, kids, occupation, friends, morals, or identity. They especially have a knack for aligning other people against the victim.
Their attacks are so insidious and well-planned that they wear their victim out. This usually happens over a period of time, so it’s a good idea to be wary of a person too long, especially after one catches a lie or two and sees other unethical behavior.
Even when caught, the gaslighter will say the victim is crazy and everyone else who is feeding her false information is a liar because they have their own ends in wanting her to disbelieve the gaslighter.
Gaslighters do all this while praising the victim, as well. This praising behavior is what confuses most people and makes them feel uneasy and confused about doubting the gaslighter. The victim’s confusion is to the gaslighter's benefit. That is when gaslighter questions and makes the victim question her/his reality, be it the mind not working or the lack of smarts, looks, integrity, or know-how.
How would I help a victim? I’d make sure she knew how a gaslighter works; although, I wouldn’t point to his/her gaslighter point blank because I’d want the victim to figure it out on her own.
A gaslighter is basically a narcissistic person and may or may not be aware of his own actions; after all, to become so good at such a thing, he or she must have had a long self-education or he or she might have seen that behavior in his/her upbringing and has emulated it, and the behavior has become like an organ in his or her body.
In short, anyone who tries to manipulate others by using falsities and questionable means should be suspected of gaslighting. Even if we can’t do much about such people, we can, at least, try to insert a few checks and balances, so the situation doesn’t get totally out of hand.
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February 6, 2017 at 2:14pm February 6, 2017 at 2:14pm
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Prompt: "In time, we hate that which we often fear"
Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, Act 1, Scene 3
Has this happened to you or to people you know? What are your thoughts on fear-hate connection?
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Yes, I have seen in many instances and people where someone who feared something or some person ended up hating the feared one. The worst thing is, as human behavior goes, instead of trying to face the fear and taming it, people act on their ‘hate’ feelings, destroying lives and property and possibly hurting their own lives in some very creative(!) ways.
This type of reflected behavior could be because fear is an unpleasant emotion we don’t like to admit to ourselves because fear means weakness. For that reason, no one likes to admit that he is fearful of something or someone, for not wanting to look like a coward, a wimp, or a scaredy cat, with my apologies to felines.
The question to ask, if fact, is not why we hate what we fear, but it is, “Does fear cause hate or does hate cause fear?” This cause and effect sequence may reverse itself at times, even if, in some situations, fear may be the initial culprit, starting the roll of any unfortunate events. Concerning hate’s role, I mean the beginning of the destruction scenario, which starts with the dislike of being threatened, then letting that dislike grow large into the pufferfish of hate to poison people’s actions.
After all, isn’t it the hate that almost always makes people misbehave?
Prompt: *Football* Today is Super Bowl Sunday! What kind of snacks are you bringing to my party? Everyone's gotta bring an appetizer, a side dish to pass, and a beverage...what are your go-to party recipes?
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Appetizer--Spanakopita- I buy them frozen and put them in the oven ( 400 degrees ) after spraying them with olive oil. In about 25 min., they are ready. It is such a lazy-woman dish and it gets sincere applause…always.
A side dish—Eggplant salad—I wash the eggplant, wrap it with foil and toss it in the oven. (can be baked together with Spanakopita). Just about the same time with Spanakopita, it should be ready. If not soft to the touch, it isn’t ready, so I give it ten more minutes. I take it out of the oven and let it cool a bit. Then I cut the eggplant in half and take off the outer peel and if it has too many seeds in the middle, I scrape them off and cut or mash the flesh. I make a salad with the eggplant, by adding black olives, grape tomatoes, fresh chives and scallions, two or three mashed or grated garlic cloves, salt and pepper, olive oil and vinegar, and I toss everything together. I guess this recipe could be written shorter, but I am not perfect…ever!
Beverage—Apple Cider and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Apple Cider is for me and the wine is for you.
I am happy Patriots won, by the way, as I am from New England. 
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February 4, 2017 at 12:04am February 4, 2017 at 12:04am
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Prompt: Take these 3 sentences and somehow incorporate them into your blog. Have fun.
1. Writing a list of random sentences is harder than I initially thought it would be.
2. Sometimes, all you need to do is completely make an ass of yourself and laugh it off to realize that life isn’t so bad after all.
3. Where do random thoughts come from?
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Don’t ask me, “Where do random thoughts come from?” for I must be the top producer of random thoughts. Throughout the day random thoughts jump from one far-flung idea to another. It is as if my mind is a bird migrating, but instead of flying it zooms at lightning speed from one pole to another.
Now you turn around and tell me, “Writing a list of random sentences is harder than I initially thought it would be.” I think you want to work on writing random sentences rather than producing a well-constructed paragraph or an essay. Well, to each her own, but there’s a remedy for that. Just go to any store where you can sit down and watch and hear people talk or make comments. My favorite is the Starbucks Café inside Barnes and Noble's because the book or magazine I’m supposed to read becomes a good cover. There, I just jot down what I hear people say. If you follow through with this exercise, your sentences will be as random as they’ll be able to get.
At the end of that exercise, don’t try to read what you have written, even if you might have tried to fix other people’s English as you wrote down their words. I do that even though BN people are probably better at using the language because they are, at least, holding a book without reading…like me. In any case, don’t feel cross with yourself. Just put those random sentences in your blog, like what I am doing right now. As you said, “Sometimes, all you need to do is completely make an ass of yourself and laugh it off to realize that life isn’t so bad after all.”
And I am really truly laughing this entry off...
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February 3, 2017 at 11:32am February 3, 2017 at 11:32am
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Prompt: Craft a piece of flash fiction based on the art of the rant: What exercises you? That is, what gets you in high dudgeon? Who pisses you off? Be specific: not just "I hate that guy," but a riff on the last three times he cut you off in mid-sentence, the poisonous glow of his smile, and the unfortunate fact that he's your brother-in-law. Inspire us with your passion.
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He is nobody to me, nobody! Except he is married to my senseless sister, Ellen. Senseless did I say? It is more like Ellen is overly sensual yet laughably naive to fall for his strut, his wavy hair, and his honey-almond eyes, even if that’s all he's got. Yes, that’s all there is to this excuse of a brother-in-law. He’s got nothing else. No insides, no decent upbringing, and no respect for her. Worse yet, he is passive-aggressive and unfaithful to the core, the least of it in thought, and he is sneaky. His tactics have forced Ellen to turn into a doormat and blame herself at the end of each conflict.
I know he hates me for he knows I am the one to talk sense into Ellen. With me, even the nicest thing that comes out of his crooked mouth is always a back-handed compliment because he looks at me with his toothy crocodile smile as if he were about to utter a praise, and then he says something that sounds like admiration, but isn’t. He also calls me sis, but what comes out of his dirty mouth sounds like sicks or just sick.
The last time I went to their house to see Ellen, he said, “Sicks, you look gorgeous in that dress! I should get one for my mother, but I think she too thin and a bit younger-looking to pull it off.” Well, I am no Ellen to thank him for an insult; therefore, I said, “Are you sure you liked my dress for your mother? I think you want to wear it yourself.” His features deflated for an instant, but he regained consciousness immediately and turned to Ellen. “You didn’t tell me your sister was into cross-dressing men, Ellen. No wonder she knows so much.”
Well, he surely knows how to play Ellen. After each storm between them, which he attributes to having been caused by Ellen and after screwing her with his neurotic silence and exclusion of her for a few days, my half-witted sister grovels at his feet and begs his pardon. At that time, he utters one of his favorite expressions that I absolutely hate. “Oh Ellen, my love, I do understand. Definitely, I do. Female hormones play havoc in women’s brains, but let’s not give in to them again, shall we!”
I so abhor men who talk down to women especially about female hormones to get themselves off the hook.
If a rival country accused our CIA of bad hormone manipulation, wouldn’t our guys blow those people off the face of the earth? This brilliant flash gave me another dazzling idea. I am now taking a few lessons at the Bulls Eye Shooting Range. I need to have an exact aim to bleed the tocsins of passive-aggression out of this reptile.
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Note: I am a good one to hide behind fiction or poetry, and if any of you is worried, I don’t have a sister named Ellen. In fact, I was an only child.
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February 2, 2017 at 5:55pm February 2, 2017 at 5:55pm
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Prompt: What are some things about yourself you hope never change?
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Wanting something not to change doesn't really work in life. Change is always inevitable and in the forecast, but what I hope for is a change for the positive and improved things about me. Consistency and resilience are a couple of those things I consciously built up through life. I hope they never diminish, and if they change, I hope they do for the better.
I heard about the importance of resilience from Miss Lindsay (RIP) our high school Home-Ec teacher. She told us to manage our personal vulnerabilities with intelligence, to prepare ourselves to withstand the impact of any negative situation, event, or bodily mishap in life, and not to dwell on what feels offensive but either to accept what we can accept or try to change things for the positive.
Although, right now, I have squeezed in a nutshell what she tried to instill in us, building resilience isn’t all that easy. It took me a lifetime to work on it, and I haven’t even completed it, yet.
Dogged consistency without giving up is what helps one to build resilience. Plus, the side benefit of resilience and consistency is patience, which I haven’t fully mastered, either.
Still, I keep trying at fixing myself, no matter what the outcome.
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