I watched him get out of his car. He was a surfer. Or rather, he looked like a surfer. He had those messed up blonde bangs, the dark wind beaten tan, the muscles that ensured he never wore a top. And his expression was what sealed the deal. It was all there in his face, every bullshit surfer expression you've ever heard. "Woooaaaaaahh," and "duuuuude," and "narly," and "bodacious." Of course most these expressions belong in the nineties, but they've merely been replaced by new ones. Word's no less "rad" then their predecessors.

The sport is as pretentious as it's always been. More than any other sport surfing is about image. About style. It is a declaration of your core values, maaaaaan. It says don't harsh my buzz. Don't be a square. It also says don't be fat or ugly, but that part is implied. Surfers try their utmost to cultivate a persona based on apathy towards the norms of society. They practice and perfect the art of not caring. They work at it day and night. To be a surfer is to let the whole world know that you don't care what they think. Surfers work hard to be perceived as not caring about how they are perceived, and it is this trait more than anything else that annoys me.

The dude, is head toward the water now, his board tucked under his arm. The sun is setting, there's only a few people left on the beach. He stops at the waters edge, the end of his board stuck in the sand. And he's probably thinking, "My silhouette must look so cool right now." And the other things that annoys me about surfing is that yeah, he did look cool. He looked fucking awesome.