Oh, thank you, Mr. Jed. I'm glad you enjoyed this little scene, and the emotion got through. The longer why and what is more detailed in "102 Minutes"  (careful, long! I wrote it for "Long, long, long"-contest).

Yes, I'm getting better with the openings of my chapters, weave the settings into the action / dialogue / etc. more. The ill quality of the grammar not only comes from me sucking at it but also from hammering this scene out in a single night. I'd lost track of time and as I was in a "contest-ive" mood ...

Yup, au contraire is right.

Concerning the "laser gazes" ... it's our great, cliched minds are thinking alike!