Ok, maybe the challenge is still on ... ?
Just read Kiya's second mail so I know it is!)

Here goes, anyway.
1. I'm sorry, dear, my cat locked me in the chicken shed.
2. The chickens shed (feathers) on me, and once I escaped, I had to get my suit dry cleaned.
3. If I hadn't had the suit dry cleaned, you wouldn't have married me, so I had to have it dry cleaned. (Yes, that's a repeat of the earlier reason - you're much too clever for your own good. So - while going to the cleaner's there was a lot of traffic and I had to wait on one side of the street forever.)
4. The dry cleaner lost the suit.
5. When he found it, it had shrunk.
6. When I went to buy a new suit, the salesman didn't want to sell me one since I wasn't dressed in a suit already and didn't look smart enough to be a paying customer.
7. When I finally got to try suits, the only one that fitted me was a pink one and I knew you didn't want a groom in a pink suit so I had to go to another store.
8. At the other store, they had only checked or polka-dotted suits, which weren't suit-able.
9. So I decided to buy an ordinary shirt, but the saleslady there yelled at me that I shouldn't get married in an ordinary shirt, even if it weren't pink.
10. Finally I convinced the saleslady and she helped me pick a nice shirt but she kissed me, too, and I knew I couldn't show up with lipstick on my collar - not for my wedding, anyway.
11. So I went to the dry cleaner with the shirt.
12. When the dry cleaner tried to get rid of the lipstick mark, he shrank the shirt.
13. I had to enter the Writing Dot Com contest real quick lest they announce the winners before I pressed submit post.

AM I EXCUSED?