Hello,

My name is Mastiff and I'll be reviewing your piece. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble, and realize I make just as many mistakes as anyone else. Thank you for sharing your writing, and I hope this is helpful! As you know the platoons have been set upon by the Army!

Title: Not a real attention grabber. I'm sure in season it will work fine, though. Of course, I think it's been used!

Initial Reaction: It caught me a couple paragraphs in, It's good it did, because it's a nice read. I hope it catches everyone, because it's well done with a nice history at the end.

Setting: Very well done. Everything a good ghost story needed to set the mood.

Character Development: I think you did a good thing by describing Luke twice. It sets up the ending that he visits often. Tim we just have to imagine, I guess. But that isn't so hard, really.

Plot: Well set up and executed. I could hear it being told around a fire at Christmas.

Ending: I have to wonder if it's his last trip, or that's the way the visits always end. Perhaps done with intent, even.

Line-by-line and Suggestions: I didn't find a thing. You write very well.

Happy Writing!

Mastiff