Getting Acquainted
I spend most of my time playing alpha female for my pack of dogs. Lucy (Boston terrier), Harley (chihuahua). Hershey (miniature dachshund) and Jasper (standard schnauzer) are my entertainment and sometimes muses. Jasper is a puppy mill rescue dog and I'm in the intital stages of writing a series of vignettes of his life since the rescue contrasted with eduaction about rescues and puppy mills. I do actually have other interests than writing and my dogs. I love to scrapbook, watch ice hockey, listen to a variety of music genres and reading. My parents both were avid readers and passed that love on to me. I'll read a cereal box if you set it in front of me!
Review #4741227
Viewing a review of:
 
Desolate Open in new Window. [ASR]
You don't see my soul.
by Nikola Frozen Dog Mama Author Icon
Review of Desolate  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
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*Tulipp* Greetings, Nikola Frozen Dog Mama! I am reviewing this because I discovered it in the Read & Review forum. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* What I Liked


         *Bulletv* I could definitely feel the pain in your words. *Heart*
         *Bulletg* I liked the centering of this piece. Normally, I prefer to write free-verse poetry without the centering, unless it's Haiku, but I felt this worked very well. The colored font also added to the emotion, in my humble opinion.
         *Bulletp* I also liked that you added line spaces here and there, for pause. Very effective.


*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         The only suggestion I have, which isn't to say I am right and you are wrong, is that you experiment with taking away most of the punctuation and also uncapping the beginning of each line. It's just a suggestion. I think it would flow a wee better, adding to the forlorn emotion. *Smile*


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         I felt such sadness while reading this. Excellent job pulling out this reader's emotions. *Heart* Well-done!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
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