Greetings, Amethyst Autumn Angel, I am reviewing this today as one of the judges for the "Writing 4 Kids"  . Please do not edit your item till after the winners are announced! Thank you! 
 First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.
 Visually appealing Looks great! I love the font size.
Easy to understand Everything flows wonderfully and is in sequence.
Followed the prompt & rules Yes! Nice job.
 Plot / Internal Conflict / Goal:
Andy finds a coin while playing catch with his sister Penny. After arriving home, they overhear their mom talking to Peter, who is at the door. Peter has lost a valuable coin he needs for a school project. Andy struggles with if he wants to give the coin back or not. (great internal conflict!)
 Characters:
Siblings Andy and Penny are the main characters here. Peter joins them further in the story. (and of course, we can't forget Mom!) 
 Dialogue:
Great dialogue, especially between the children. Do six-year-olds really say "Oh, dear"? I'm not surprised. Kids these days have a much more grown-up vocabulary than what I had at that age. 
 Setting:
You set the stage nicely in your first paragraph, describing a lovely spring morning with sounds, sights, and scents of nature! Excellent!
 Technicalities:
 Paragraph 17: until their Mom called them --> until their mom called them
 Paragraph 42: My Dad owns --> My dad owns
The only times you should capitalize the words “mom” or “dad” is when you’re using it as a proper noun in place of a name, or at the start of a sentence. Otherwise, it should be lowercase.
 Favorites:
I think my favorite part of this is the internal conflict Andy is experiencing. It's very real and a great example of what we've all felt at one point or another.
 Final thoughts:
Great job with this! I not only felt the conflict was good, but you also threw in a little history about the coin. Great dialogue and visuals, too.
Best of luck in the contest!
Have a great day and...
K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
 You responded to this review 05/02/2024 @ 11:31am EDT |
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Review #4749312
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