Hello Amethyst Angel 💐

I get to review your item in connection with "I Write in 2025"  [13+]. These are just my thoughts and forgive me if I ramble. Thank you for sharing your writing.


Initial Impression: This is a cute poem showcasing aspects of nature with an important message. I like how each stanza focuses on a particular element or purpose and feel like others will enjoy reading the haiku poem too.

Contest/Prompt: While I don't often like the usage of colorful font in a contest entry, there are some definite exceptions to that and this contest in particular helps give reason. Scanning over the contest page to check it out, I can see how they might appreciate the choice made for each stanza. The topic works considering the prompt is to create a nature poem that uses the haiku form while making it with children as the audience in mind.


Form: This is a specific form that requires syllable counting and nature is a very common topic for them. I glanced over the poem considering the syllables but didn't go in deep to check every single line. It looks like it fits the requirements from the contest. You also kept the chain below the limit for the stanza count, which shows not only following form but also the rules from the contest.


Final Notes: Overall, this is well done in a way that fits the contest so I don't have many suggestions. I really only have one thing for you to consider if you dapple in poem editing or rewrites.

The punctuation is one example that you could consider adjusting or at least, I have some thoughts that may or may not work for you. I can see why you might want to use punctuation as the commas are very helpful and it would look weird to only have the commas and nothing else. I do think some poems work well without punctuation. However, I'm torn with this one since the commas give the necessary pause but putting a period at the end of each stanza doesn't feel accurate. The very last line, for example, could be three sentences though it might feel like words are missing but they can't be added due to the syllable word count. I just feel like there needs to be a pause in some way due to the word choices made for the last two lines of the poem. Then there is the middle stanza about the caterpillar that doesn't have the punctuation because the topic continues to the next stanza. It's a consistency that I tend to prefer that I'm not getting in this particular approach.

Others might have different opinions or not even notice this punctuation element. I hope you do well in the contest. Good luck!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .