 First Impressions:
The concept of ‘skill trading’ via brain rewiring was fascinating and very original - at least it’s not something I’ve ever come across before. Jak’s motivation, to give Tess the perfect wedding and a comfortable life, made the tale and its main character relatable and likeable. He sacrificed a lot to make her happy, and he did it all without a second thought. The plan slowly unravelled though, and the timeline shifts worked well to throw the readers into the most emotional scenes at the right moments. Even though I didn’t understand the mechanics of the trades at first, it didn’t take me long to catch on as you filled in the details.
 Suggestions:
I felt I got to know Jak quite well in this story, but Tess, the woman he did all this for, was less well developed. She went from being excited about her dream wedding to being appalled at how much Jak had changed with nothing in between, and I wonder if there might be the opportunity to bring her in again after a little time had passed. You could show her hesitation after a couple of remappings when she notices Jak’s personality changing, maybe have her express that she wants him more than a huge wedding. Something like that would make her more relatable.
And I noticed a couple of typos:
One electronic maintenence
“maintenance”
through his conciousness
“consciousness”
 Final Thoughts:
The ending was tragic. Jak went through all of this only to lose himself, his personality, and with it the woman he loved. It turned out that all those skills he thought were not important to him made him who he was, and replacing them with others to trade changed him into someone she no longer loved or even recognised. He still remembered her; in fact, he would have liked to forget her but couldn’t. It was a very thought provoking tale with an intriguing premise, and I enjoyed the read!
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Review #4823126
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