Review of The Last Straw

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Review #4827988

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The Last Straw

[E]
After two years of a seemingly perfect marriage, Robert Logan begins to suspect his wife.
by Lonewolf

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#4827988

Review of The Last Straw

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A story about a man who waits for his woman late into the night.

WHAT I LIKED

The emotional tension builds really well and the reader can feel the release just as Robert does.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person from Robert's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue drives the narration. As a reader, I could feel the emotion dripping from the dialogue. Well done.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph sets up the drama using a good economy of words and keeps the reader interested.

CHARACTERS

Robert and Clara. He's an upstanding guy and you want the best for him. Clara is not so upstanding.

FLOW & PACING

The opening set up the problem, the middle built suspense well and end was realistic.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good job of using WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy on the eyes to read here at WDC.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title implies what the story is about. The story is poignant and gut wrenching. Well done.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

You responded to this review 08/01/2025 @ 10:54pm EDT