Hello Amethyst Angel h✟k ♡,

my name is Tiggy and I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering! Please bear in mind that my comments and suggestions are only my opinion. Other reviewers might see it differently.


Use of prompt

The revolution here wasn’t one of weapons or armies, but of reclaiming spiritual freedom and human dignity against a sterile, AI-controlled order. The main characters’ act of posting paper notices, an outdated, almost laughably simple method, became a revolutionary gesture in a society engineered to suppress both faith and human connection.


Plot

This story had an interesting premise: what happens when believers try to carry their faith into a society where the official “god” is artificial intelligence? The tension between human spirituality and technological control was drawn well, and I especially liked how the story captured Carrie’s unwavering faith alongside Jim’s doubt and fear. This contrast made the characters feel very relatable.


Structure

The story had a clear three-part structure: first, the journey from Earth to Ultima introduced the characters’ mission and their contrasting levels of faith; second, life on Ultima built tension as the couple confronted the suffocating dominance of AI religion; and third, the climax in detention flipped expectations when an apparent enforcer is revealed as a hidden ally. This created a satisfying progression from hope, to conflict, to unexpected resolution, though the ending resolves more gently than the mounting tension might suggest.


Dialogue

The dialogue sounded natural and highlighted the contrast between Carrie’s unwavering faith and Jim’s doubts. I liked his asides which he didn’t share with his wife but with the readers - they were quite funny in places. There were a few times where I felt it was a little heavy on exposition.


Descriptions and Setting

I found it easy to imagine the scenes. There were some effective details like drone-delivered groceries, AI companions and sterile metallic streets that described a world that was efficient but soulless. The strongest moments, like the eerie emptiness of the streets at night, captured both the beauty and unease of the planet.


Mechanics

The story was well written and I didn’t notice any technical errors. There were a few sentences that seemed a little wordy, for example this one: The thought of sitting in a cold, drafty spaceship with only curmudgeonly commentaries to pore through, was even more anxiety-inducing than the prospect of freeze-dried space food for the next three days. For clarity, I would suggest shortening this a little.


Overall impact

The story was intriguing, but it relied on faith as an unquestioned solution rather than probing its relevance in a society ruled by AI. There might have been an opportunity to explore whether old beliefs truly met the needs of a radically different society and how humans create meaning when old gods no longer suffice.





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .