 First Impressions:
I found this in āRead & Reviewā, and since Iām quite fond of stories that involve the devil, I decided to stick around. I didnāt regret it. This was a fun story even though it looked a little dicey for the main character for a while: Ronnie signed away his immortal soul, or so it seemed to the readers and the devil, anyway. The Seventh-Day Adventist doctrine of soul sleep was a brilliant twist. Ronnieās belief literally nullified the Devilās contract, because the Devilās leverage assumed a soul that can suffer post-death. Ronnieās theology made that transaction meaningless - his belief reshaped the rules of reality itself.
 Suggestions:
Try as I might, I couldnāt find anything wrong with the story itself, not even a misplaced comma. The only error I spotted was in the prompt, which, I assume, you copied from the contest: Write a story they includes the line. Even though thatās how it was written in the contest, I would probably fix that and change the ātheyā to āthatā.
 Final Thoughts:
Normally, ādeal with the Devilā stories hinge on the terrible cost, but here the cost evaporated because Ronnie didnāt believe in the currency the Devil traded in. The Devilās power depended on people accepting his framework. The story worked on two levels: a funny āclerical errorā with mistaken identity, and a deep undercurrent about how doctrine isnāt just abstract, it dictates what bargains mean. A great read!
 You responded to this review 10/07/2025 @ 1:38am EDT |
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Review #4838833
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