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Review #4852230
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Close Call Open in new Window. [E]
Written for, Daily Flash Fiction Challenge; two teens need to hide pilfered stuff, fast.
by TJ says, "keep on keeping on!" Author Icon
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#4852230
Review of Close Call  Open in new Window.
Review by StephBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*BookmarkG* I found this story through Read & Review.

*Reading* THE STORY

A couple of teenagers try to hide some stuff they pilfered in the teacher's office.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

Great job putting the reader in the moment with Joby and Zak trying to hid their pilfered stuff.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omniscient. Past tense is used in the story.

*Star*DIALOGUE

The dialogue drives the narration. It does a good job building suspense and tension.

*Star*OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph puts the reader in the heart of the dilemma, trying to hide the goods.

*Star*CHARACTERS

The Joby and Zak are likable teenagers and Mr. Gomp is just want you expect. Well done.


*Star*FLOW & PACING

The opening set up the problem, the middle did a good building tension and end did a great job hiding the goods plus adding a comedic twist.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for dialogue quotes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story. This light hearted vignette will put you in the moment with the teens and leave you with a smile.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


Reviewer of the Month for August 2025 at the Angel Army
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 01/16/2026 @ 11:39pm EST
About The Author
My writing doesn't follow any set genre, it's interdependent of my mood and all that's taking place in life. I'm still finding myself, what I write constitutes the markers along the path of that journey. With time, many things will manifest in my work and perhaps I will pursue one or two genres. For now, it's not, "What type of writing is my passion?" "Writing is my passion."