I just watched a commercial advertising Obama shoes. What?

http://www.obama-shoes.com/

I don't know what to say. I just feel dirty and confused for some reason.
 

There hasn't been much going on in my life lately so I will chronicle what few things have happened.

My company did layoffs a week or so ago. That was very depressing. Lots of people that I know got laid off. It just doesn't feel right here at work anymore. So many empty cubes and offices makes work feel eerie. On the one hand, it feels nice to still have a job, on the other hand, I feel guilty that I still have a job. It is very sad here.

My husband bought me a Trek WSD 2.1 road bike. It is cream, orange, and white, just like a creamsicle. I love this bike!! It is so light. I move very fast in comparison to my mountain bike. I love being able to race through street lights and ride up hill easier because of the gearing. It's great! Here's a picture of my new love. http://www.trekbikes.com/images/bikes/2009/large/21wsd_creamorange.jpg. I love my husband too, of course, because, well, he and my bike are both..... (I could put a crude joke here but I wont)

I bought clipless peddles and shoes. It is so nice. It makes cycling so much easier. Plus it works out my entire leg and not just the top of my thigh. Who knows with all this great equipment I will be racing by next summer.

I spent the weekend organizing my house. I bought shelves for one of the closets to make a bigger linen closet. I bought organizers for the kitchen and rearranged the entire thing. That took a couple days. I am glad it is done though. Now, for me, it has better flow. Flow in the kitchen is very important. Now I am off to rearrange my clothes in my closet, in my drawers, and in storage. I don't know what is happening with me but I think I might become organized after all. My husband is wondering who I am. To tell the truth I am wondering who I am too.

It has been pretty cool here in Reno this past week. It is especially cool in the morning. It makes me think of fall when it is like that in the morning. Of course it is not too far way. Just a couple of months away!

Happy Trails
Ellee

Bike miles 153
 

So in the last mile and a half I was practically crawling on my knees to my front door. What I didn't know before the ride but I know now is:

- The pavement radiates heat that is probably along the lines of 115 to 120 degrees constantly. So sweltering is not the right word at all. It is more like HELL FIRE!

- Wind sucks. I thought that having a "breeze" would be helpful in keeping me cool. I am sure that is true still but "breeze" and "gale force winds" are two different things. Have you ever been driving your car and it starts to act funny? You start thinking there might be something wrong with your tires or the car steering has suddenly malfunctioned. Then a minute later you realize it's just the wind pushing your car sideways. Well the same thing happens on a bike. It took me a minute to realize that there was nothing wrong with me or my bike. It was just the wind. I swear it was trying to knock my bike over then I turned the corner and it became worse. The gale force wind was coming straight at me the whole way home. It was the kind of wind that causes you to have to peddle down hill so your bike will keep moving!!! PEDDLE DOWN HILL!!! Literally that meant that I had no rest, no coasting, no nothing but the constant bite of worn out muscles.

- Heat Stroke starts with the desire to throw up the water you just drank then it moves on to causing your hold body to shake and lose strength. After that you get a mighty fine tingling all over your body. It almost makes you feel cool like "hey it's not so hot out here after all". Meanwhile all you want to do is lay down on the sidewalk and curl up in ball. Then luckily you make it home.

Lessons learned the hard way stick with you. Now today my job is to rehydrate myself and rest my tired body. I can't wait to try it again.

Happy Trails
Ellee

 

So today of all days I have the courage to ride my bike home from work. So why do I call it courage? Well, first of all, it is a hundred degrees or more here today so hot doesn't quite describe the conditions out there. Sweltering is the right word. Second, the way home has a lot of up hill. And lastly, I knew my husband couldn't come get me from work this afternoon and I rode my bike this morning anyway. Now I am forced to ride my bike home. I love painting myself into a corner. It makes for interesting times. Well I am off to the land of sweat and the sweet smell of exhaust fumes in my face.

Happy Trails
Ellee

Bike miles 90
 

I was watching a new TV show last night on NBC called Wanted. It was the series premier. The show bored me to tears and I am not likely to watch it again but it did get me thinking about terrorism. Not that it is a new topic for me to think about. I am sure it is not for anyone in this world today. Acts of terrorism occur all over the world. Some of the acts are big and some small. To me the small ones are the scariest. It's as simple as some nut job putting a bomb in a public trashcan and BOOM!; people are wounded or killed. It doesn't take much planning. It can be conceived by one person alone unlike the big ones like 911. I guess you could call Oklahoma City bombing small in comparison although it seem incredibly large at the time and that was carried out by two people (that we know about). In England they took away trashcans to prevent trashcan bombers and now they have to deal with lots of litter but that is a minor inconvenience. Last year they came out with bomb proof trash cans that stream news and stock quotes. What a strange world we live in.... http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5051419.ece. Then there was that hotel bombing in India last November. That was so sad. Then the scores of other random bombings in Iraq and elsewhere. Random violence is happening to people that have no connection to the people doing the killing. It's all over the place. Crazy people are everywhere and it makes no sense!

Anyway what I got to thinking of was why America doesn't experience more of these incidents? I mean, we are hated by many who do this type of thing aren't we? Not that I want to experience more mind you. I am very happy we don't. I am just wondering what we are doing. What ever it is, it is doing a damn good job of preventing this kind thing from happening more often. Is it law enforcement? Is it expensive airfare? Are they distracted by all the pretty lights? Do you have any idea?


Miles on bike to date: 75 (it would be higher but I went on a two week vacation and sat on my butt the whole time)

Happy trails
Ellee
 

The July 4th weekend was relaxing. We didn't do much. We never do. Mostly because we don't have to. Our house has an excellent view of the Nugget which is a very tall casino here in Reno. At the Nugget, they do a fireworks show every year and every year my husband and I sit in our hot tub and watch the show from our back deck. This year was no different. Very relaxing. We go outside as the sun starts to dip below the horizon which, in Reno, is very high because of the Sierra Nevada mountains. Once the shadow of the mountain reaches our house, the back deck is a very pleasant place to be. We lounge in our deck chairs with a cold beer in hand and watch as the people vie for parking spaces along the roadside. Later when the sun has disappeared completely we get another beer and ease ourselves into the hot tub and prepare for the show which lasts for a half hour or so. The fireworks display is better some years than others. This year was nice but not as nice as a few years ago. I am sure the Nugget has a tightened budget this year as we all do but all in all it was pleasant.

The 4th of July has always been my favorite time of year. I love the heat and the sun and the sense of playful excitement that lingers in the air. When I was younger and I still lived in Virginia, I used to go down to Old Mill Park in Fredericksburg and hang out with my friends for the day. We would arrive early, find a spot for our many blankets and towels spread in the think green grass (something you don't have here in Reno unless it is planted and watered regularly). There would be bands, kiosks that sold all kinds of things that are bad for you, and thousands of people milling about. When you got too hot in the sweltering heat a dip in the Rappahannock River was all it took to cool you down. Later, when the sun tired and the night took hold, everyone would find a spot next to the shores of the river to watch the fireworks dazzle the sky. I remember on many occasions afterward I would lay in the grass or on the hood of my boyfriend's car and watch the heat lightening dance silently in the high clouds above. I always loved watching the heat lightening darting across the sky searching for its balance, its mate, something to make it whole again. It made me feel calm. I never see that here in Reno. Too dry, I think. I miss it.

Happy Trails
Ellee

Distance on bike so far: 66 miles

 

So I rode into work again this morning. It seemed harder this time than the first time for some reason. It was like my body knew what I was about to put it through and it rebelled for quite a while. I pushed through it though and made it to work. I certainly do feel better physically. I feel strong. I am sure tonight I will just feel tired. I learned that I actually like doing this. Well I learned more than that. I learned that women have wider butts so having a wider seat really makes things much better. I will say that again....much better!


 

Advil came in handy later that night. My legs were really sore....more like agony until the Advil kicked in. The next day, my butt was still very sore and I had a little shoulder and back muscle soreness. My legs felt fine like I could ride again that next morning and I would have but my butt couldn't take that seat. OUCH!!! I bought another seat yesterday and hopefully it will be better for me.

I will definitely ride home from work eventually. That's the goal anyway. Eventually I plan on riding to and from work three times a week. 24 miles three times a week would be great. I imagine I could do it every day eventually but that is not really the goal.

Now if I could apply the same drive to my writing.

Happy trails,
Ellee



 

Ariana brought up another good question...how did the ride home work out? It was fine. Easy Shmeasy. My husband picked me up from work and drove me home with my bike in the back.

I am not going to attempt the ride home for a couple weeks. Right now my legs are a bit sore but my butt is reallllllly sore! It's five pm pacific. I can't imagine what I will feel tomorrow morning rolling out of bed.

Happy Trails
Ellee
 

I did it. I rode my bike to work today. The total trip was a little less than 12 miles. It was pretty much a non-event until I sat down at my desk. Now, a couple hours later, my fingertips are tired. Other than that, the whole thing was easy. Hmmm go figure. I guess I am not in such bad shape after all. The real tell will be tomorrow. Will my legs work? Will I be so sore I can't sit down? I know this, those bike seats suck! Even though I had the groovy padded bike shorts my butt was pretty sore by the time I got here.

At any rate, I am proud that I did it.

Cheers,
Ellee
 

Ariana asked what brought me to the conclusion that I wanted to ride my bike to work. It wasn't bagels, or donuts, or anything like that. Well, on second thought, maybe it was those things or more to the point the calories that they represent and how that representation turns into fat. But fat really isn't the full motivator here. I would like to get into shape. Not the shape that I have now which looks a lot like this shape:
O
but a shape that looks more like this shape:
8.

I am not really addressing the question at hand. What made me think of it? Well it is really simple. My company has a bike to work day. That day was sometime last month. I didn't really take much note of it. The idea was ludicrous in my mind. Me? Bike to work? Me? Bike anywhere? Not happening. But the notion festered in my brain and worked on me over the course of this past month and as a result I have convinced myself that it can be done even by me. My boss bikes to work and it is 22 miles each way. If she can do it, so can I. That is my general feeling about most anything. If someone else can do it so can I. I wouldn't take that to the extremes though. For instance, I wouldn't go around throwing logs because other people do it. So there you have it. That is what made me think of biking to work. It would have been a lot more fun coming up with a story about thinking of bagels one day and that led me to biking to work. Unfortunately, my creative side of my brain is mush lately.

Cheers
Ellee
 

So I have decided that I am going to ride my bike to work this summer. I don't know if I am going to do it every day but I hope I will. It will be a little over a 11 miles. Tell me, am I nuts? Has all the time away from WDC caused a wire to come loose? Maybe so, but I think it will be good for me. I bought a bike last year. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't really buy it. I actually got it for free with points on my American Express card. It is a Mongoose mountain bike and I know nothing about it. I put it together and got the gears to work which was an interesting experience. I decided to get it with my points because, well, why not. Maybe I might actually ride the thing. Well I did, maybe twice because riding a bike is hard were I live. Everywhere I go in my subdivision is up hill....way up hill. Shit! My thighs burn!!! My heart strangles me! I feel like I am extremely old even though my Wii Fit age is 35! I remember when I was a kid I road my bike everywhere all the time and all day long. What happen to that kid? Anyway, hopefully riding my bike to work will give me the strength that I will need to actually take it on a trail. I already love hiking. I wonder if mountain biking will be just as fun.

So this weekend I took the time to order some supplies that I thought I would need for my trip to work and discovered that biking shorts actually come with padded butts!!! Groovy! I was worried about that. Those seats are horrible. I wonder why they don't make the seat padded? Instead they make the shorts padded. Seems backward to me but I am grateful none-the-less. Also those seats don't really seem man-friendly to me. I ponder over the infeasibility of the whole thing yet I see more men on those seats then women. It might be that I only notice the men in their spandex butt-padded shorts with very muscly thighs. mmmmm.

So I have not made mention of riding my bike home from work. The reason being is it would be mostly up hill. I am nervous about the ride home because of that. 11 miles to work and 11 miles home and up hill to boot might be too much for these not so muscly thighs to manage at least initially. We'll see how it goes.

Cheers everybody,
Ellee
 

I just received an email from WDC that my membership is expiring this month. I can't believe it has been a year since I first signed up. Time flies. I wish I have utilized my membership more though. It seems that life has distracted me in a very bad way.

My work is still going good. My home life has settled down. My writing life is piss poor. Arg!
 

So it has been an incredibly long time since I have been on writing.com. Things in my life have been topsy-turvy in the last 6 months or so but I find, now, that they are settling down some and I hope that the trend will continue. My head is clearer and I am starting to be able to focus on more than one thing at a time. For a long time there, I couldn't even focus on one thing at all.

On the bright side, I haven't lost my desire to write. I even came up with a story idea in all my turmoil and when it fell out of my head and landed on my computer screen in the form of an outline...it had a fully formed plot. Go figure, when things were going well in my life (or appeared to be going well) the ideas I came up with were very vague and I couldn't pull a fully formed plot out of any of them.

Anyway, I pulled this off of facebook. It is called finish this sentence....

Here goes...

1. My last kiss......was a kiss good morning.

2. I am listening to...... the sound of my cat's breathing through an allergy stuffed nose.

3. I talk......very little but on the occasion when I am in the mood to talk I do it way too much and without pause.

4. I love......hiking.

5. My best friends.....are few.

6. My first job was......a customer service clerk for Sears at Spotsy Mall in VA where I was tasked with listening to customer complaints with a very straight face.

7. Love is.....a myth most days but on those rare occasions you will actually give it to someone without judgment and without hypocrisy and then it is all worthwhile.

8. Marriage is.....a pain in the ass.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... about me, right now. Could that be you?

10. I'll always.....be me and at times that is a depressing thought.

11. The last time I really cried was because....someone betrayed me.

12. My cell phone......is always within a five foot radius of my person.

13. When I woke up this morning.....I took a shower as I do every morning after I wake up.

14. Right now I am.....writing in my writing.com blog which makes me feel happy.

14. Before I go to bed...I brush my teeth as I do every night before bed.

16. Babies have...smelly poop but doesn't everybody?

17. I get on Myspace.....no longer because I deleted my account.

18. Today I......did nothing and I am proud of it.

19. Tomorrow I will be......at work once again.

20. I really want to be.....a high paid writer.


 

So I have decided to take up guitar lessons. I have had a guitar for many years now. I used to take the time to teach myself and I was making progress but the whole thing seemed to fall to the wayside. Now, given the fact that I have so much time on my hands, I have decided to get professional help. I know that is not the only professional help that I need but this will have to do for now.

And maybe, just maybe, I will start writing again. I miss doing all the stuff I was doing just a few months ago. My mind hasn't been able to handle the task until of late. Now that things are getting better on the emotional front I think I will try my hand at a few contests and maybe I will start reviewing again. Who knows maybe things can look brighter.


 

So I have been thinking about this question: What do I want?

Answer to date: I don't know

You would think that a simple question like that would be easy to answer but it is not. What do I want? hmmm. In a man? In myself? In my life? With my career? So many things to consider and I have no idea. Oh I can come up with fluff like I want a man to be honest, straightforward, caring, kind...blah blah blah or I can say I want to be happy, healthy, sexy...blah blah blah. But all that is so airy. It has no substance. And really what does all that mean anyway...to be happy, to be sexy, (healthy I get)? What does it mean to me to be happy? I thought I was happy in the situation that I was in. I must not have been so do I really know what being happy is? Does anyone?

Maybe I don't know how to be really happy. Maybe being really happy does not depend on anything but myself and I must suck at it.


 

Well I am glad it is over. Christmas seemed excruciatingly long this year. I have had a lot of time to think and the thing I have been thinking of is the old saying "with age comes wisdom". Someone must have been on dope when they thought of that one. I think that with age comes wrinkles, gray hair, and saggy bottoms but wisdom, no.

When I think of wisdom, I think of it as this definition:

wis⋅dom
   /ˈwɪzdəm/
–noun
1. the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.


and just because they used sagacity, I will provide that definition:

sa·gac·i·ty (sə-gās'ĭ-tē)
n. The quality of being discerning, sound in judgment, and farsighted; wisdom.

Discerning, Farsighted, Insight ---- Ahhh, well then, I am not wise but I am surely aged. Aged like a fine wine, or a smelly cheese, or a good bottle of scotch but not aged enough to be wise.

Oh and not aged enough for a saggy bottom either. Just though I would dispel that image.


 

I have discovered that writing about anything other than my pain is completely impossible right now. My hope is I could be like the character Erica Berry in Something's Gotta Give where I could sit at my keyboard and tap out a book while crying my eyes out AND have that book be a hit. I guess my dreams haven't died.
 

Why I hate moving:

The cab of the U-Haul smells like three day old sweat and dirty socks.

Boxes multiply every time you touch one. You know, like the Gemino curse that causes identical copies of objects to appear when the original object is touched (Think Harry Potter and Gringotts)

Having to unpack

Every muscle in your body is screaming by the end of the day

Having to unpack

I still have boxes packed from my last move, and the move before that so that is proof that unpacking is never finished.



 

Have you ever had a day were it felt like everyone wants a piece of you? Not only do they want it but they take it. Bit by bit. Devouring little pieces of you like piranha until at the end of the day you are nothing but bone and bits of uneaten flesh.